dagagiri

it's difficult to capture what you think into writing...and hence, its challenging to write what you think...

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Hair Dressing Dilemma

It was long ago that my father stopped waking us (me and my brother) up in the early morning. The discipline of getting up in the morning by 7:30 perhaps could not be rationalized with our age. Perhaps he understood that he is forcing it upon us. And therefore, now he allows us to sleep for long morning hours.

Earlier, my father would also get impatient if our hair was not combed immediately after bath. However, we realized that the hair should be allowed to dry a bit, such that the hair oil and water do not react to attract more dust. So now, sometimes, when we are at home, combing hair become an afternoon activity! Perhaps this is deteriorating the quality of setting of my hair.

I realized today that my hair wasn’t setting properly. I recently had a hair cut. My cousin had already commented on the hair cut classifying it as ‘improper’. Initially I tried applying water, more water and even oil…but the hair would not set! so I decided to go to the hair dresser and complain. And I did. I complained with confidence. Ofcourse he got agitated, and gave me a free trimming again!

But I realized today the dynamics of hair dressing. I always believed that our hair in the top of the head must not fall on the forehead! But the salon educated me that this frontal hair will always fall on the forehead, that too if very short! I then wondered that what he said should be right – the head is hemispherical in shape and each hair on the head is acted upon by gravity in a different manner! So that makes the hair dresser’s job so complex – for a person like me who demands that no hair on my head should stand out like the tail of a hen!

I know I have made the explanation very scientific, but it is so. Atleast I understood how the job of the hair cutter becomes complex (though I always believed that it was, today I understood the nature of his complexity!).
Having said the above, I am planning to change my hair dresser from the coming turn…this one always leaves me disappointed!

Friday, October 23, 2009

In difficult times...

Something that expresses the circumstances at this moment in my life perfectly...




image courtsey: Marianna Hillmer

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

A brief update of Life

The past 3 weeks have been so busy that i have had no time to even think what i have been doing. Well, I don t remember where I should start, but there are 3 prime things that I can categorize my activities under:

1. Academics
2. Applications
3. The Cultural Spaces project

Since it was the time to break during diwali, a lot of portion had to be completed. It was the time when I had to prepare the graphics lecture – deliver for 3 hours. On the other hand, juries at Kamla Raheja and Academy…there was so much of thinking activity happening. Along with this was the fellowship, which I have not even got a chance to think about. There was an extreme pressure to be considerate towards students and not let one frustration pour over another.

On the other hand, I gave my GRE and then later TOEFL – and god knows how I managed both! Luckily, it was a weekend and a Dassera holiday before my GRE exam and I got 2 whole days to study. This was the peak of preparation for the Cultural Spaces project. I am grateful to my boss at the MMB to allow me a holiday on the day of my exam. The GRE experience could be elaborated in another blog, and I do not have the time to do that, but all I can say right now is that I can’t understand why I got such less marks even when I felt that the paper was easy. How is one to understand or comprehend such a feeling? My score was just 1140 and it still scares me while putting my applications. On the other hand, I literally had no time to prepare for TOEFL. I just took a CD one day prior to my exams from a friend, and had to seriously catch up on sleep the day before the exam. I went home straight from college and slept for a good 4 hours. I then got up and revised from the computer software. I felt so lazy even practicing those questions that I just familiarized myself with the questions and went back to sleep. The toefl exam was long, extraordinarily long. I felt it was an utter waste of time and resources. Both in GRE and TOEFL, I feel I did well in the Writing sections.

Lastly. the cultural spaces project was a roller coaster. It started with elaborate preparations in Mumbai before going – making lists, confirming schedules, pick ups and drop-offs…plethora of silly managerial things…However, after about 20 years, I made a journey through the flight again. The main meeting was to be held in Delhi and we were accommodated at the Taj Palace. This was my first stay at a fivestar hotel… I made some blunders too – by eating from the store…and paid a bomb – but that was just a case of misunderstanding by me. Anyway, I don’t want to elaborate on that enough. We travelled in Delhi for a day and I met a lot of people – considered to be great names in the research and criticism field. the meeting was very formal, which was not intended to be so. The food at Delhi was only German and Thai all the time, which was partly the reason of munching at the Taj (oh! I still feel the pinch on my pocket!). Rupali, Matthias and myself came back a day earlier to start the Mapping workshop at Kamla Raheja…I never got a chance to participate in the workshop, but the next day, I took Matthias for a South Mumbai Darshan. I think I made him mad after a lot of walking and roaming. But I think now I know about him a lot more than anyone else in the international expert team. Matthias was the sweetest of all in the group! As the days went by, the experts started making shifts in their schedules and then started the rounds of changes, rescheduling and re informing. I could hardly concentrate on all that, since I was busy with ,my TOEFL, colleges and also I was least interested in the managerial jobs. However, Jayashree did taunt me a couple of times, which I almost ignored, until the last day. On 17th, when the trip was supposed to end, Jayashree again wanted to tell me things, but I also resisted to some extent. Later, I spoke to Marla and things were fine.
Diwali was good – I invited Robert and Bindi home for the laxmi poojan. Otherwise the Diwali was a quite affair…it gave a much needed rest time and I have got back at my applications and paperwork…

Have to compile a portfolio, resume, SOP, transcripts, admission forms, recommendations….a lot of stuff to be done…so no breathing time yet…hope to see positive signs in future!

Friday, October 16, 2009

:( :) :/ :&

It is quite unfortunate, that though there have been such important and interesting twists in life, i have gotten time to write this blog at a time when i am extremely put off.

However, I am going to generalize this phenomenon and blur the specifics such that my post is politically correct. It is now apparent to me that only donkey work will pay you well. This work is mechanical and involves a lot of ‘running around’. My theory is that since there are very few people who can do such running around well, they get paid very well. That is I guess, the job of Event Organizers is based on such a premise. Such people have a great network, and they show it off brilliantly. All they do is find specialists and supply them to those needed.

On the other hand, it is completely absurd to be a ‘jack of all trades’ in the contemporary modern world. The professional world is craving for more and more specialization. One day will come when there will be specialists who will tell you how to tie the lace of your shoe or wipe your ass hole after shitting! In this race, the Germans will be in the forefront, I guess.

anyway, I am SICK OF BEING FORMAL…

and I want to stop writing this shit!!!!

Monday, September 07, 2009

finally BUSY

suddenly everthing seems to come together to me:

RIBA submission
KRV fellowship
KRV teaching
AOA teaching
MMB flignt co ordination
GRE preparations
TOEFL registration

Hush....

timetables are not working to the fullest

still...architecture teaches to endure pressures...
i feel like a sugarcane between the two cylinders...
still to come is:

TOEFL preps and exams
Portfolio - design, print, despatch
applications
paper work

waah!
its all set till the next mid year it seems!

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

The Art of Giving

A gift is a difficult thing to comprehend. One has to select something for the other, relying on his taste. The gift always lies on the vulnerable edge of liking or disliking. Further, when gift has a monetary value, it falls under the perview of functionality and usability. Then there is a usable and a useless object. There are many times when gifts circulate. They keep on getting passed from one hand to the other as gifts. I was wondering if gifts ever become usable and assume a part of our everyday lives. It is then when a gift is assumed to be worth. But in that case, the gift becomes ephemeral. Then it continues to live on in memories once the physicality of it is gone, or has become redundant.

Today, children have become so sensitive about gifts. Right from their childhood, they are forced into the custom of distributing and accepting gifts. The gift has become an object to be learnt as a part of the curriculum. An then is to be learnt the art of giving. I wonder if the concept of gift was so strong in early ages. In the present time, children are so possessive and sensitive about receiving gifts. I use ‘receive‘ because now-a-days, you receive a gift even when you give a gift – the ‘return’ gift.

Children today even question the host if they do not receive a return gift. It was never so atleast in our childhood. Today it has also become a matter of lifestyle and class. My nephews studying in reasonably good schools receive ‘Birthday invitation cards’. I always thought that personal invitation cards are only for marriages. Suddenly casual things have become so formal – customary.

When I was small, I used to prepare greeting cards. My mother never used to give me enough money to buy a printed archies card. So the only option was to make one. This was beneficial on two accounts – it fostered my creativity and saved money. Many a times, I still used to stand at card galleries, stealing concepts to make cards. I used to maintain a book in which I used to write what could comprise the matter inside a card. These included rhymes, poems, anecdotes, sayings, and all sorts of things to write.

But that was not all. To make a card, one would require a lot many things. Sketch pens, crayons, coloured paper, stickers and later on sparkles, fancy scissors which could cut zig zag – I still have all of them. I would be always on the look out for good cartoons, flowers and funny figures in magazines, news papers, note book covers…then slowly, patiently cutting them by their outlines. I think that involved so much of the self. It too involved time – in finally arranging stuff to prepare the greeting card. To think what to write. Even if on a rare occasion, a card was purchased, time would be dedicated in carefully and thoughtfully decorating it…and then the envelope, because envelope is the first thing one sees.

Cards are gone. People do not appreciate cards. I have cards for about 10 of my birthdays still preserved. When i see those, all memories come back to me. It is almost nostalgic. The best part was that One could post cards via the mail too. One would wait on the other hand, to receive a card on the birthday, and it would involve the memories of the person too.

As we grow up and start earning, we realize that we can spend now. But instead of buying a card, we look for ‘value of money’ and rather prefer a usable object than a card. This object is so mean – it vests the power of ‘liking’ in itself. It brings jealousy, dissatisfaction and doesnot even have an emotional value. It is not accepted as a gift, but an object. And the moment it reveals itself in the hand, it starts the judgmental cycle. And the person immediately starts to think, ‘will I use it?’

Greeting cards were noble. They atleast took some time and allowed the person to appreciate the effort – either in making or decorating. One always knew it was a memory, not usable, and hence did not go in the other realm of judgment.
A gift is no more a gift. Unfortunately.

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Insistence on being certain?

I have let it sink in…may be…

My biggest complaint with Correa was that he claimed to give me the award only because of benefit of doubt. He should not have given the award to me if that was the case. That’s why the status onthe facebook. On the other hand, i wonder if a person like him too feels that ‚teaching‘, ‚writing‘ and criticism are for wanderers. They are ‚some‘ jobs, and not as specific as ‚architecture‘. What i also wondered was that if he too was as narrow minded to think of an architect as a person who would, or rather should ‚build‘. The other argument which would favour him was that if i had gone to him, it better be for an architectural criticism and not for a ,flowery‘ word talk. Agreed. But one can always enjoy the spirit of the subject.

The meet reminded me of the book Haroun and the Sea of Stories, where the protagonist’s father is a story teller. I wonder if story tellers are useless people? Is writing or teaching an abstruse profession? Why do educated people look down upon such fields? It also reminds me, in a bitter way, what George Bernard Shaw said, „Those who can do nothing, teach, those who can not teach, write“. While the shade in which he must have written may be sarcastically poking or legitimizing his own profession, it definitely pricks when others use it in a poky fashion.

What does one do, if one finds his niche at a very late stage in life? In the process of finding ones calling, one may end up involving himself or herself in a completely different course of study. But having completed it, does one become bound to follow it or practice it the rest of his or her life? Does an educated society fail to understand the confusion within a young mind? Can an educated person like Correa not address the confusion of a young mind instead of riduculing it?

Confusion has allowed me only to ask more questions. These questions generate a thirst for answers. Hence i write. I write in order to detail my questions to an extent that they resolve themselves as rhetorics. This endsup in my writings. I like writing. I like teaching because i am able to discuss my confusion with others. Many times, these discussions take artistic forms : architectural manifestations or artistic drawings. Such confusion existed in my thesis too. But is it really bad? Something to feel so worse for? Again i am raising questions, and i guess, most of my sentences end in question marks! Thats not good though, is it?

This constant conflict to take a stand and move on is irritating. Life is not worth it. One misses so many moments in this silly confusion. But may be, it has allowed me to be more sympathetic towards others who are not able to decide and humble towards the smallest of jobs. After all, who knows, i may end my life just as a story teller or a typist!