HNY

Anjor Kaaya

Anjor Kaaya is a play put together by Prarambh Performing Arts - an upcoming theatre group which gets together people from different walks of life (me being one of them).

More details: visit http://www.prarambhtheatre.com/

Those interested can watch the play on the 24th and 25th January 2009 at Rangsharda auditorium, Bandra and 31st January 2009 at Sophia’s college auditorium, Peddar road .

brochure design - anuj daga

Unity and Responsibility

A story in the waiting...

my colleague's bag - he treats it like a dustbin - and it's still dear to him


during my lecture - the students push everything else aside


an object i created during my internship - we fancied it of being like a gehry guggenheim

on the other side of blasts...

While people are intelligently critiquing about media, journalists, politicians, security, etc. I am completely clueless that how do you put all these comments in a perspective. We are great at criticizing everyone. Criticizing is the easiest thing to do. Most of the times, criticism is not even constructive. Many who criticize do not even have to courage to execute what they believe in. I am in the middle of reading ‘Maximum City’ and was just reading the Salaskar Chapter – and 2 days ago he is already dead. If one reads that book, the perspective towards the 'shahid' changes. I somehow cant put myself back to read the book. I can't sit longer in front of the television – my mind thinks what can I do for now. When I don’t get answers to my current questions, I get back to my normal routine. I do not see the point in wasting time over things I can not resolve. Yes- if I can change, I will change and then talk…

Passing comments is so easy. I don’t even know the entire politics of India! How am I eligible to contribute…am I…should I vote? It seems so silly…Yes, but I will archive all of this. I will record it in my own ways. For myself. This is an experience – not an inclusive, but a distant one…for me, it’s the 1993 attacks…and as I say this, I am not being judgmental about anyone. I am just a spectator.

And so i will talk about the real time things on the other side of the blasts:

Nihara got married today… and it was so exciting to meet friends again – and today, it was Manali and Nivedita who made my day.

We hanged over for some time at Nivedita’s place to see her Pushkar journey. I must say that all these friends have gone so much ahead, I n the way they have started thinking, visualizing, expressing…nivedita’s collection of photographs from Pushkar was amazing…and how beautifully she spoke about its content. I felt ‘preachy’ as I critiqued some of them mildly (I hope you don’t mind nivedita), but she took all of that very positively. Just can’t handle it – after all I am a teacher! And I realized that she is 2 minutes away from my office! Pity! Lost so many immense opportunities to drop in at her place….but hold on…a month is yet to go (I am leaving _opolis in a month). So will try and make most of it.

An hour at the railway station:

As we approached the station in the rickshaw, manali unscrambled. She is working with Nitin Desai – the art director. And we just kept on talking. We missed 7 trains for discussing tremendous things. She briefed me about art direction – the temporariness of sets and the practical considerations. How sets are ideally supposed to be. How technical aspects come into picture. Framing, story boards, content, meaning, ideas, concepts…all of it…I felt so happy that I wanted to jump. Here was a small silent girl, who I thought will be caught up in the chores, following her own passion. What a bang on for her. I have always admired her for her water color skills (and I still feel I must learn from her) – and that she is actually making storyboards. Isn’t it beautiful, when someone realizes what he/she wants to do? I see a satisfaction. I am sure it will happen to me – sometime. Though I am still stuck. I do not know where I am headed. I am exploring. But I will find out some time before I die, what want to do, and will life some moments of satisfaction.

Another thing I deeply feel happy about is that all my friends are so actively doing something – they have ventured into things of their liking. Sets, art direction, theatre, music….I am so happy to have all of them – for they widen my horizon. There is so much still to learn.

And as I say all this, I connect it with my academic pursuits. I feel every student can do something excellent. They need guidance. Proper, patient and potent. That will make a difference. And I don’t know if I must fight if others do not realize it. Because those who I teach are fresh, starting their life (not that I am very old) but I remember that how important it is to affirm their confidence.

There was a meeting to discuss the progress of the students, their fears with architecture a week ago. Indirectly it was pointed out that we (read I) are spoon feeding. But I made a point to correct it saying that there is a very thin line between 'spoon feeding' and 'guiding'. Only because I spend time with the students, especially the weaker ones, doesn’t mean I am spoon feeding them. Well, my ideologies as a teacher are very different. So I do not know how long will I be an academician…but of course, I am exploring it.

Manali and I finally decided to board a train, after chatting for about an hour… she promised me to take to her site at Karjat, and I promised to talk to Prarambhites (theatre people) about involving her with the theatre sets…

There are so many things, talks I would have loved to archive. But after all, a blog is not enough!

Strategies & Tactics

Strategy: a formalized, proper relationship in which a subject can be separated from their environment (xix). Think: politics, economics, science, ...

Tactic: an ad-hoc, unorganized relationship that is contextualized by the environment (xiv). Think: everyday practices
Tactic is "a calculus which cannot count on a proper, nor thus on a borderline distinguishing the other as a visible totality," rather insinuating itself into "the other's place." A tactic depends on time and "must constantly manipulate events in order to turn them into opportunities."
a. Ex: the particular condition which the housewife confronting heterogeneous and mobile data in the supermarket
b. Many everyday practices as well as ways of operating are tactical in character and "victories of the weak over the strong."
c. "Tactics wander out of orbit, making consumer into immigrants in a system too vast to be their own, too tightly woven for them toescape from it," and also "show the extent to which intelligence is inseparable from the everyday struggles and pleasure."

What is architecture?

The Get together

the re union

dreaming dhaval

the fake smile

the big treat!

Diwali 2008

The diwali saaf safai - compelled me to do away with my model... some of the final pics are here...

Pride and Prejudice

This post is due since a long time, because i still don't know if i have put my thoughts in the right way. but these are honest thoughts, and must not be interpreted otherwise.

Suddenly people are realizing that none of them expressed truly their happiness on my NIASA win. Well, I wonder if i should be proud about the win and show my pride or should I be just the Anuj that was before. Both these options are perfectly fine - if seen in the respective perspectives. But if the perspectives are flipped, then they both are utterly wrong. Now, I do understand - fame is a double edged sword. On one hand, you can be mistaken for being proudy, while on the other, I am a dignified person. The college's perspective has changes. People talk to me with an air of respect -somehow, it feels that the people around want me to feel the respect, but deep inside, I question if there is any need to do so.

But I just feel dry for that moment - when Uttam Jain kept his mike and clapped for me in the midst of giving his comment. How thrilled he was. When the audience suddenly started re-clapping. When Ranjit Sabiki raised his hands when I could answer his question to his satisfaction. When the architects in the audience said that, "it was truly an eye opening project" - all of these comments. There is no witness to these comments except me. I still feel that someone, at least someone should have been there, may be Dhaval, Atul, or my father - how proud they would have felt.

But i missed that moment. It has become a frozen moment - which can not dance, cannot do anything to any one, but me. and if I tell all these to others, they might say - "he is behaving proud".

I remember, on that night, when my father called me after my win asking about the jury comments, a fellow contestant was sitting next to me (who had not won), could I have said that "the jury was speechless" - it actually was. But I did not say that since it would have hurt my friend, my fellow contestant there. Whom do I share my pride with?

However, the best moment was when my family gave me a surprise party on Dussera - the entire set of relatives were there - it was a moment to remember, but honestly, I was lost. Because these people celebrated me as a national winner. But the importance of the project, the sensitivity of the issue, and the boldness of the portrayal - was it appreciated by them? I still wonder...if someone who understood it was there....

Bharat Bhavan, Bhopal

rags to riches

thats what Jal arya said on the first marking...

that was 2 years ago...

waiting for the final results...

NIASA 2008 nationals...

Hindustan Times Bhopal publishes report on

National winners 2008

reading images

looking through the window
some time ago in rain
from the bus i see
the red light washing the pane

a week ago in dadar
people walking in a chain
and flowers spread by
all along the lane…

Architecture and too much

Recently, all my Saturdays are ruined because of the site visits arranged at an interior site in Powai. But what bothers me more is what I am going to discus in this blog. I sometimes wonder how much an architect is supposed to know. The scope of knowledge is infinite. There was a point after I finished graduation when I thought that there is so much to know still. But over the last 3 months I have realized that one cannot fathom the whole universe. Moreover, my juniors at office (trainees) say that there is just too much to know and one can not know everything. I commend their realization. For the first few times I questioned the fact. But after some time, I accepted it.

All human beings are subject to personal inclinations and therefore, each one chooses what he/she wants to do. However, Georg Simmel in his lecture ‘Metropolis and the mental life” says that functional specialization was a feature of the modern century. This was the phase when ‘specializations’ in fields started. He portrays this as a negative attribute. But a parallel thing is also to understand that the database of knowledge has also started increasing. Earlier, there was less to remember and now there is so much – machine, technology, politics, medicine…..architecture unfortunately delves into everything….and that’s when I wondered as the client spoke about mechanical details of an air conditioner on Saturday.

I said in mind…hold on dude….i am a designer. How and why am I supposed to know about this stupid machine, which is just a piece of graphic for me. I am supposed to put it such that it looks good in your house. Bloody you get the ac consultant and still want me to be there, you call the electrician and still want me to instruct, you call the civil person and want me to detail out the joint, you want me to tell the plumber the way to take the pipes, meet the building engineer, co ordinate with every damn person and the client. While that is only one part, you need me to convince you about the design, where I apply my brains and you still want to argue over it…

Well, now I see why architecture may not be for me. I simply may be interested in detailing out the graphic that will go on the wall…well that’s what I want to do….not 100 things at a time….those are jobs of supervisors. I want to think over a simple thing for hours and exhaust it out…that’s what artists do…right? And that’s why I like art…so is architecture art? Rather, I am inclined more towards the arty side of architecture. I think if I remain for some more time with it, I will surely find out what I exactly want to do in life. Now that’s called a dark cloud with a silver lining!

NIASA 2008

It was 6:00 in the morning. Dhaval was already up. I thought I must also brush up. Dhaval practiced his presentation, I saw him making notes. I quickly had a bath and was already ready at 6:30. Finally I told Dhaval to rehearse his presentation once. He did. And he was pretty much in time. 13 minutes.

Then I asked for my turn. We were getting late. However, Dhaval allowed me to rehearse once. I was not in time…over 16 minutes. Deciding to cut down on my talking, we reached the venue.

Things started an hour late. In addition, we were said that we had 20 minutes to present instead of 15. We were happy. Dhaval got a little extra time to make notes. I already had mine typed out. I had already visited the toilet 2 times. Dhaval’s was the third name to be called and we were excited towards that. In the middle of his presentation, the lights went off…that is when we cautioned him to go slow with his speech.

I congratulated him. Things went on. There were interesting projects. Many of them could not finish theirs in time. It may be the 5th time I went to the refreshing room. My name had not been called yet…

After lunch, I had almost given up hopes. After the sixth presentation, I kept my notes inside my bag. But it was then I had actually become more attentive towards others’ presentation. And I was literally enjoying them. When the seventh presentation ended, the announcer called out…”Anuj – Cinema for the Blind”.

I was relieved. I visited the loo once again!

While the jury was still discussing the 8th project, I went to the loo for the last time. And then it was me. The presentation went glibly…I talked out my last line on the ring of the gong. 10 seconds extra…

I was almost impatient through the final presentation .

15 minute break and the winners were announced. Anuj ….Cinema for the blind. Gauri jumped out of joy. Dhaval congratulated me.

The venue and the date for the national jury have not been decided.

The Da Vinci Code

I have never read a book so passionately…and especially considering that I took 3 years to read fountainhead….i finished da vinci code in just less than 3 weeks!

What was gripping about the book was the way it used story to leak out the hidden secrets in symbology! While the first half of the story is very informative, the second part is very filmy! It’s easier to hide identities of people in a book than in a film…still after reading the book, I felt like I must watch the film. Because symbology is to be understood by seeing….and not only by imagining…

One wonders that how exciting can the life of sophie be…imagine solving puzzles to get a birthday gift….wow! I would love to do it. Imagine making those tricky puzzles, making treasure hunts…that was the strength of the story. The entire book was a puzzle book, and hence it set my pulse racing….

The prime thing is that the book raises questions (for me it was the first which questioned Jesus’s virginity!) and then there is so much so symbology around us…we don’t even understand it…that is when one feels at loss of knowledge.

Then and Now

those mornings...
standing at the foot board of the local train
with earphones plugged in
the soft air gushing against the eyes
compelling them to close
and concentrate on the music...

these mornings
standing at the foot board of the local train
with people pushing in
the stale air in the compartment
making it difficult to breathe
and get out of the crowd!

Ego

Today I skipped my lunch in order to complete drawings to be handed over to the contractors. I was actually refrained by sonal until I completed the drawings. It was evident that she had her own ego behind that!

I simply obiliged.

But what I understood that the Gandhian philosophy does work. After having her lunch, she came to me and told me to have my lunch and then resume. Then there was my ego at work! I told sonal that I didn’t mind having my lunch later.

But what is interesting that both of us had egos…right in their own place. Earlier, she felt that I would wait and later I wanted to prove that I can wait.

The best part was I think that both of us realized our mistakes…she felt she should not have stopped me and I felt that I must have completed my work before!

Ego is a double edged sword – once you know how to use it, it can take you so high, but at the same time, it may destroy you completely.

Discovering life...

There are some people who I would never like to tell that i joined back _opolis. I have passed two weeks after rejoining and still not doing any concrete kind of work!
Sometimes its disgusting to just sit and stare at the computer screen. You can’t even read books though they are in front of you only because you will be labelled as 'sitting idle'. I am sure that my bosses know that they are underusing me. Perhaps that the case with everyone over here. You can’t even give some time to your personal hobbies or projects if you have any. You are so badly slaughtered between the family and office. The family pressurizes to have a fixed job - which is a fixed source of income. On the other hand, you know that you have far more potential and you are just wasting your time. But hold on - there may be the little tidbits of the industry that needs to be learnt. But how long must you wait to learn the smaller things? I wonder if I can ever learn something by myself. Something that is just my finding...that is my thought...

We always know that there are better opportunities. But are we 'bindass' enough to leave our current jobs and keep running behind the opportunities? Are opportunities supposed to come to us or are we supposed to tap on opportunities. Both these questions have different approaches. These approaches will shape our lives differently. One leads to personal satisfaction and the other leads to social security. There are two fronts - personal and the obligatory social. Which one to follow - where to go?

Are we bold enough to follow our own mind. Are we independent enough to sustain on our own? Are we responsible enough? Do we dare enough to leave the society behind? I have plenty of questions, plenty of answers, and the world to observe...

Sometimes, horoscopes can read your mind!

What makes me write this piece of blog is my today’s horoscope, which reads:

“Part of you wants to sell out and blend in because it’s painful not to be fully appreciated. Give the rest of the world more time to notice you. Amplify your weirdness and keep going.”
-Dr. Prem Kumar Sharma, HT

That is what I have been thinking about since the last 9 days. I do not know if people can really gauge the happiness that I have got in completing my course. I mean…c’mon…I have finished five long years of a course, which was so hectic, different and laborious. Architecture IS a difficult course. And a very few people, perhaps, realize that. That is why there is such a thanda response from people around. No one asks me about how it was to study a course (completely different from the rest in my family) in the past five years. Neither are they interested in what I am planning to do further. No one appreciates the fact that I attempted a project in my final year that virtually seemed impossible…perhaps they do not value anything that I did in the past two years.

However, one can at least value the fact that I have virtually completed my graduation. I think it’s a big thing. I will get a degree in my hand soon (hopefully)…I don’t know why no one has been talking about any of the things which I want people to discus about…all this puts me off…

I wanted to jump, shout, laugh…after my jury. But my jury itself was so low-key and so thanda, that I felt I had made another ‘naturopathy centre’. At that time, I felt, it’s better than answering those toilet-parapet questions. But then the jury was not exciting, I feel now. It did not appreciate the questions I raised. Nor did it fully appreciate the design…the discussion was so hanky panky…I think I am not able to tell it in writing…it was not worth the two years of hardwork…on a subject like mine…I should have made a naturopathy centre…

I may say to people that I had a good jury, but that is looking at it from another perspective…where you don’t get those midgets to talk about a good project. Let me, for the first time confess – “Yes, I did a good and a different project”. This comes at a time when I have given my jury. And the bigger thing is that it comes from me. I have never uttered these words during the course of my research. So you think what’s the deal if you already know that you are good… I say what’s the goodness which is only known to you? Confidence comes from appreciation by people whom you respect. That is what I strongly believe. This thought is killing me…because I don’t think that has happened. Appreciation from friends is a different thing…they will always appreciate you. There are only some friends who will honestly tell you what they think about your work. That is why I like Atul’s comments. Others are just diplomatic. Diplomatic to the core. I don’t really like such people. The worst part is that in groups of such people, you too have to be diplomatic. I used to hate being diplomatic until the 2nd year…and therefore people used to hate me…I mean my classmates. I started learning to be diplomatic from the 3rd year…but then onwards, I never really spoke what I really felt about anything…my words were always sugarcoated. But diplomacy taught me one thing…nothing is bad, there is a good side to everything. And one must always be constructive in one’s criticism.

There will be a lot of people who will try to point out your mistakes. They would not try to find out any opportunity in the mistake. That is the catch. Every mistake, I feel has an opportunity to learn. That’s what I tried to point out when people came to me. Our problem is that we do not question at all. Perhaps, if I may say, I tried to raise questions within people’s minds – it includes my guide Padma Desai too.

Well, I may be preachy by now. But one can appreciate oneself. Especially when others around are not acknowledging the fact of good work. Going back to my thesis, I don’t really care, even if I get a pass class...because I don’t think any one understands fully what I have gone through the last two years…and can any one imagine a year without peaceful sleep?…never mind – I appreciate my own self! I don’t think there is any other option than to boost oneself…

A hundred more things in my mind…but to word them all and to read it will become boring…this frustration will either percolate partly in each blog or might just heal as time passes by…

Acknowledgements II (part I in dissertation)

Now this is very weird! When you don’t have time at all, you feel like you must blog…and when you have loads of time in your hand, you feel that you must sit idling…but today I have decided that I must upgrade my blog. There have been a couple of things, which I have to write about, perhaps, this may not contain everything. Therefore, this will be just tidbits of the past few weeks that have been spent laboriously completing my thesis.

I think this blog must be decdicated to all those people who play a role in my thesis, post my dissertation was printed, as these names would not occur in my dissertation.

Firstly, I must mention Ushma Mehta, my senior, whom I helped last year. She has so beautifully reciprocated the deed of help that I can not put in words. She gave the final 6 hours (or more) to my site model to make it look presentable. Not only that, even the next day, she called me up to asked if there was any help needed. Luckily, I had my other friends out there…my juniors…Beverly was quick and she did a considerable amount of work in a short time. She was good at understanding my design and hence could do a lot of work without me explaining much of it. Both Ushma and Beverly were working together as I was guiding them and they just made the model start going. Beverly could not make the next day. However, Nandita Rebello, again from second year, came for very little time. She came in when I was at the plotter’s. Hence, I gave her instructions on the phone and she carried out the task very neatly. Though she cut a part of one of my site for her stuff and stuck the ‘wrong side up’, I think, that was tolerable.

That day, Gauri from fouth year came as a surprise. She came along with Nihara, whom I had asked for help a few days ago. Swapnil came as a magic wand. While I was waiting at the plotter’s, he suggested that he would get all the sheets to my place and told me, Nihara and Gauri to carry on. This saved me a lot of time. As we reached home, Nahdita was about to leave in half an hour. Nihara, Gauri and me took over. They allowed me to take a nap of half an hour. They kept working quietly, but slowly. Gauri too had to leave in some time. By the time, Swapnil got the plots at home. I made a quick look at the plots and kept them safe inside. One of the plots was spoilt, which I told shilpa to replot.

Gauri had to leav within some time.Nihara was there with me till late. Swapnil too joined me later at 8. he helped me with the trees. The look absolutely beautiful. Swapnil also put the trees in my design on the site model. Nihara was slow, but when i started pushing her, she did many small works. She gave me the idea to call Shraddha the next day. I called her up and she was most ready to come home. Swap and nihara went home by 11.30 pm.

The next day, Shraddha came exactly by 2 pm – as decided. Then, there was no turning back. I asked her – what time she has to be back home. And her reply, was the most soothing and satisfying answer, I ever got. She said, “When you are done with your work, then I will go home.” This meant a lot to me. At a time when I would have just sat and spent all time worrying what and how to do, she lent me all her support – not only in terms of physical, but in terms of moral too. She kept working with me until seven the next morning, and I deeply regret that I could not even drop her at her place, because my car was full of models…

I have developed a deep respect for all people mentioned above. They have stood by me at time when my task seemed unmanageable. Moreover, I respect and thank all of them – respect for their help and thankfulness for conveying their friendship. I think I must also thank God for putting everything in place. It seemed that things just happened in the right time. No one said ‘no’ to me for help. There was someone or the other in the last 5 days at home. Though I was tensed, people placated me. It was restlessness…to complete, to get done. And that restlessness can not be explained. Perhaps, everyone who came to help me could see that within me. I don’t think I was patient with my actions…but I was still trying to keep my cool. I hope I was fair to everyone. And if I was not, then I ask for forgiveness. And all you guys, pleas never forget me when you are in need of help. I will try my best to deliver any kind of help that may be possible.

Thanks again. All the best.

15 days to go...

Ahahha….now I feel satisfied…

Once your design has been done and you are making the final drawings, it’s pure excitement and satisfaction that drives you till the end. I feel satisfied today…after over a year…and by mistake extended my afternoon nap!

Got up, had washed my face….then just kept looking at the mirror…the beard had grown more than usual….got a shave after a fortnight…
As I write this mail, the planes of the paper on the computer screen keep swirling….bye guys, have to still do the final touches of the 3d on sketch up!

Passing thoughts...

I wonder, in times of crisis, we become so dependent on our near and dear ones. Earlier, it was parents who were those whom we depended upon. In recent times, it’s friends. Now there are two aspects to it – one is the duration of crisis, and second is that how much are you dependent on them.

But while seeking help from friends we sometimes forget that we start losing our own confidence levels. Further, their surrendered support becomes our spine for taking every next step that we schedule. One question is how does one realize this? Generally it happens that you do not realize how much you are bothering them – that’s because good friends don’t let you feel your dependence on them. But I wonder if they are really doing a favour by doing that – because in one sense, they are only making you weak. One needs moral support during times of crisis. But what must be the form of this moral support? Physical presence, words of inspiration, positive outlooks…what? Physical presence, I feel is the best form of expressing one’s support for the other. That is why perhaps, husbands and wives feel worthy of each other, because they feel that they would help each other in bad times. In other words, such kind of support exists in a bonded/committed relationship.

Words of inspiration on the other hand are important in an intermittent kind of relation. Such matters are liable to comparison. One can take inspiration in two ways – looking at the good work of others or by learning from the bad work of others. One gets inspired to do “as good as” the best or “better than” the bad. While those were the practical derivations of inspiration, words of inspiration may also come from philosophy. Philosophical thoughts most of the times give strength, and also save one even during failures. But ultimately, philosophy is what takes the form of a positive outlook. There is a philosophy existing in the world which will make you feel happy and worthy of yourself in any time of your life. But the above two things are much sought after things from friends in times of crisis.

On a different note, a friendship becomes vulnerable during times of crisis. The amount of support that you get from cronies during tough times strengthens your trust into them. Friends, who understand this fact, sometimes may even lie or hide about the shortcomings of those in trouble. They may build up hollow words of praise or even show others down to build up confidence in you. Now, of course, that is for a good motive and perhaps they don’t even really mean all that. But then, is this ethical? Should a person not be honest about his/her opinions even in times of crisis and show the ground reality to their troubled associates? The predicament is that if they take such a step, it’s only a rift that they may create in their friendship. Our minds start thinking very binarily during times of crisis and we tend to make things easy for us by segregating them into – good or bad, positive or negative, happening or not happening…we may create a lot of fuss and confusions with our good friends if we get into all that if their support is not in our favour. So we must understand that there is also a middle path and there is also a possibility that we may think how we would have reacted to situations if it was vice versa. That is why it is said that one must always maintain one’s cool - in times good or bad.

We must give sufficient space to our good friends even during our times of crisis and not get completely dependent on them. That would only make us strong and help in maintaining a good friendship. Not that by taking help, that would not happen, but its only that one would be avoiding a lot of misunderstandings if things go wrong!

angrezi gyaan bhandaar II

Mutant: a sport who which includes individuals who vary from type due to mutation

Midget: a person who is markedly small

Soporific: pertaining to sleep, sleepy

Hedonistic: some one who believes pleasure is the cheif good in life.

hegemony: dominance of a certain group over another

Work Review

So who is going to defend him?...Adarkar asked the panel
(everyone surprised)
I mean, who is going to be his representative?
(everyone looking at each other)
Ok whose group you are in…

“Padma ma’am” I replied

Poor padma…she got caught!

After about 5 months, there was finally a work review. My thesis design had progressed a bit, however, it was equally controversial. The panel listened to me patiently for the first five to seven minutes and then jal interrupted as usual. The problem with the cinema for the blind is that the subject and the object- both are quite flexible in terms of their interpretation. Jal was more concerned about the empirical formulations of the project. I just nodded away his questions about ‘how much of blindness have you studied’ because I did not find the question even important to respond to. If I started telling him about my ideas, he would have just whooshed it away! And anyways, I don’t understand why does he have to be ALWAYS negative? Why can’t he make his criticisms constructive?

Adarkar, on the other hand was more concerned about the sensory experiences…tactile, olfactory…all that he knows about the blind…and his typical examples…

Amberkar was very quiet, and he understood that it was beyond him to comment. I appreciated that.

Kale was more concerned about the functionality of the project and how would it prove useful. He gave me atleast some opportunity to go ahead and complete my explanation of design. He also gave me some more clues.

Padma just didn’t live up to my hopes…she still kept questioning why I was doing a cinema, if I had to address urban issues.

Ah! Finally I went ahead to meet shetty…after waiting for about two hours, shetty asked us to show our work hurriedly (as always) and gave us enough time. I showed him my large sketch.

He was happy to see the sketch. He also said that this must be your sheet like. However, today he seemed as if he wanted to wrap up the design. But I went ahead and asked about the unresolved parts. He tried to bring in some dialogue, again on the conceptual terms. He said that the cinema for the blind actually will be difficult to build. But this would be a CONCEPT OF SPACE that you are trying to create in the city. Such a space will be used by the blind to discuss stories…create, write, read….and all sorts of such activities. He also said that such a space would later on become a space to use for exhibitions or public activities.

On the other hand, he clearly asked me to work and resolve the internal tid-bits of the project. I agreed to do that, but I felt that he must have gotten tired with me – discussing and trying to explain me the same old thing. But that is so natural. On one of the instances, I also felt that he was too busy, as he just got irritated about smaller issues (like water logging in my project) and said “so what am I supposed to do?” but I don’t think it’s his fault at all. He is completely free to express his frustration. I just smiled. What else could I do?

His dialogue clearly brought out that he understood that there is a lack of (good) faculty in AOA. He asked me to prepare the final presentation I am going to deliver. I told him that I have thought about it. But he said, don’t think, PREPARE. I said okay…and he further said very sweetly, that that is what he would help me at. He also said that it’s just those last 15 minutes which made the difference for him during his jury. On a personal note, I like it when he gives examples about his jury. Because it’s nice to know the process of a successful project, and on the other hand, it’s just nice to understand him as a person.

While leaving, I asked him for my dissertation, which I had handed over to him 7 weeks ago. Still he said… “but I have not read it”. I said it’s fine. But while returning the booklet to me, he saw the cover page…held it for 2 seconds and smiled at it…

I knew why he did it…because the cover page said…. “c nema for the bl nd”

I smiled back at him. I think we both enjoyed the pun!

While leaving, atul was with me… and he said that perhaps Prasad did not have a grip over my project. However, I thought that how does that matter. It’s shetty who has guided me since the beginning and I trust him fully. He also said that he doesn’t think that now anything would happen towards making an ‘aha’ design, as there is no time. That’s the typical negative atul for you! I just blankly accepted it and threw it out of my head.

However, we can not stop trying. It was an eventful as well as a wasteful day. Shetty has told me to meet me with the drawings within some time. I have told…”Ten days?”….

“Will you be able to finish in a week?” shetty asked
“I will try to, and anyways, I think the talking will take care of the nitty gritty!” I replied.
“yes, talking is important…I will tell you. Come prepared!”

Clay Modelling

It has been a long time since I have spoilt myself.

The other day, my sister was upto me to give her some idea of clay modeling as my nephew was to participate in a competition. She got the box of clay I had gifted my nephew on his 4th or so birthday…

We kept wondering what must be made such that it looks competitive…soon we started playing with the colourful clay. Making slices of watermelon, cherries, apples….wow, it was so much fun. My sister and I also experimented with the idea of making a boat, or a basket. But my nephew was so fed up with the clay thing (since my sister was pushing him too hard over the preparation for the competition). I told her very openly that it’s not important that he must win. My idea was that he must explore the material.

I think she digested this soon and we started thinking over objects where the shape would not matter much and could also be handled by a small child…we then thought of making a bunch of grapes. That was indeed a nice idea. The fact that a grape is simply round and the bunch of grapes doesnot need to be in a particular shape…

We soon made a handful of other fruits too. I got so excited and went ahead to do some detailing on the clay fruits… making depressions, etc. I further made a chilly and peas too…for some time I felt that I must keep making more of this. And also that I love to play with such materials and get dirty.

I really enjoyed working with clay. Lets see now what my nephew comes up with!

con - FUSED!

Architects are born confused. I think they are the most confused people on the planet. They are never sure of what they want to do till the last moment…there are 10000 changes in the drawings and the finalized one is till bound to change on the site!!

But my point here is that what if a person is confused about pursuing architecture or no! I know this is a weird predicament. But it has happened with me. What shapes up a person in his or her field is the experiences he/she has had during the course of the study or the professional term. One gains confidence from appreciation by people whom they respect or others, who are just confident and ‘less confused’. A few people learn from their mistakes and very few gain confidence from their bad experiences.

On another relative term, one feels good about doing a course, if he/she is generally doing well. If he/she is satisfied with what is being done. Satisfaction again sometimes becomes a victim of expectations – personal expectation or others’ expectation towards one. When one experiences good, everything seems good, otherwise, he/she is in a state of a deeper confusion. I am a victim of confusion…

Sometimes it’s so encouraging to talk to a person who likes your work. But at some time, if the same person criticizes your work, you feel worthless. And this happens especially when that person is someone whom you respect or idealize. But there is also a personal and a relative factor. As we say, that a man is also shaped by the personal biases and his likings and disliking, his grooming atmosphere, and finally his own mental capabilities. If taken that into consideration, then the idea of dependence on someone’s else’s opinion on your work collapses, and the idea of ‘appreciation’ also falls apart. Taking from the conversation of an old man (who coincidentally is an architect) and my friend, the old man wisely said, “You are the best judge of your own work, no one else can judge your work.”

Philosophy is the greatest support in bad times. Philosophy itself is a thought which is developed by personal experiences or biases or the way we look at things. But philosophies too are relative. One judges someone else’s work with one’s own philosophy. So if the philosophical thoughts of two people are congruent, then they will agree to each other. According to one’s own philosophy, what he/she does is always right. So again, the idea of judging ones own work does not stand substantial…
Judging generally splits decisions into the range of two binary opposites – good or bad. Good is something that is congruent to the jury’s thought and bad is incongruous. The other range of decisions are only an adjustment with one’s thought. For that range of decisions, either the ‘judge’ tries to think on the lines of the speaker or the speaker tries to succumb to the ideas of the ‘judge’.

Therefore, something that clicks right at the first go is good…because it does not need time to look into details (it is non biased) and something that is discussed far too much and ended with a remark falling within the range of good and bad is just a mismatch of thoughts…it’s confusion between understanding a single thought with two minds…

I know that the piece of writing has a fusion of ideas that have no verdict, but can it be of any use? I am confused!

friends

F - Few
R - Relations
I - In
E - Earth
N - Never
D - Die

End of internship

Another phase of the academic life comes to an end. I completed my internship today, and I feel no different than I was 4 months back. Partly because I have still not completed my thesis like others. In a way, it is good because it keeps my mind busy. But on the other hand, it is a mild pressure that keeps me tensed.

But I would dedicate this blog to the people whom I was working for the last 4 months. Today was the lamest day at office. While rahul and sonal knew that I am going to leave today, I was not given any considerate work. So the last three days were just like a formality to complete training.
As a token of farewell, I had given my colleagues a small pack of kites, out of which one they had to return me back with their messages to me. I would like to share some of them. Starting with the senior most person, Akanksha actually brought back all the days we spent together working and having fun…she said something very beautiful...

“Dream big
Chase your dreams
Learn all the time
Hold on to precious moments in life…
Keep flying high!”

Something very aptly and honestly put.

Rika was not well today and she was planning to leave when I realized that I must give everyone away the card then. She was sweetly happy to receive the card. And she said that “hope you fly higher than a kite with no strings.” I think I will miss Rika the most, because she was perhaps the most intelligent and expressive person in the office. She is short tempered, but her anger helps her big time. She is sharp, crisp and confident – something that I have never been!

Rashmi’s message is the most dear to me…for the fact being that I shared my desk for 4 months with her. And perhaps she had to be avictim of my endless commentary! She wrote

“…had an amazing time with you, will surely miss your gaana bajaana and the expert comments”

She was the most helpful person for me… taught me so much of autocad…and we would have plenty of talks filled with laughter. I would share everything with her…how I spent my weekend, my trip from home to office, the lamest of the incidents….she was the best company…and her vivaciousness showed in her eyes…

Yatin said something to me in the way we used to talk…he wrote…

“anuj…jaane kahaan gaye who din…”

I gave a big smile to him and it was only the gesture that communicated. Yatin, shailesh and I were big fans of old hindi music and we used to talk about them all the time. We sometimes used to talk in songs too…and there was his sentiment so perfectly put in that one line…

Rahul, Lucy and Prabhakar pleasantly wished me best luck for my thesis. And tanmay wished me best luck for future. He too remembered the way I used to talk with him in Gujarati, and hence like an elder brother, wrote, “Pachho jaldi avaje.” Rahul rhino and rashmi gave me an excellent cd of cartoons…comic strips…full of comics…thanks public…if you are reading this blog…heartfelt thanks.

What disappointed me was my boss’s gestures…he kept asking me “are you coming back” the entire day. Sonal went to the extent of getting a letter signed. I hope that Rahul would pay me a little more for the last month, but that too put me off when I say the cheque with the same digits…

while leaving Rahul told me, “so anuj, how was working at opolis? You must have enjoyed… no work (says ironically)…are you coming back?(says once again)”

I was surprised to know that my boss is telling me that I did no work…I felt betrayed. I wanted to work. And hence, still with mixed feelings, I complete this blog with a confused mind whether to join back the office or no, as I might not see the sweet people around next time (as most of them are leaving for various reasons). May be time will tell….

what is general knowledge

Is France the capital of Italy or Italy the capital of France?
Have you never learnt geography?
Why?
Have you ever seen the map of the world?
Yes..only seen…
Italy and France are two different countries.
Oh!
How can you not know that…it’s like asking is Afghanistan the capital of India! Had you been an American, I could have understood, but I don t expect this stupid question from you…only Americans ask such stupid questions… like - is Pakistan a part of India…or is Nepal in India…

By the way, what is the capital of france and italy?

The capital of France is Paris.
And Italy?
Rome.
Oh..how could I forget…
What how could I forget!?
Ok… my general knowledge is not so good!
What do you mean general knowledge? Its not even general knowledge. Even a 2nd standard kid will tell me that…ok 3rd …

So tell me what is general knowledge?

???

No tell me what is it if it is not general knowledge? Ok tell me how many countries touch India?
Are you talking about present India or the India before??
Ok I don’t want to know the answer…

after loads of work...

yesterday and the day before was the busiest day at the office...preparing a master plan, and then preparing a presentation...taking out copies...composing drawings....incorporating suggestions and changes...co ordinating with colleagues...

for some time i felt that life must be that busy...it must be so busy that you feel like sleeping after going home.you feel like taking rest.

unfortunately, loads of work is coming when i am about to end my internship, and i will be taking a big break for the completion of my thesis...

thesis is another interesting thing to do, but its difficult when you are not getting anywhere. surprisingly, the review of the dissertation done by my guide was very lenient. and unexpectedly she kept asking me about my personal life rather than the design. felt curious and asked her about that, when she told that she was being inquisitive.

another experience on that very day (Monday)...while returning back home, the fuel in the car was empty, and i was stuck in the middle of Andheri fly over..was another experience in life. and was amazed to encounter the best of the worst in life. the car was stuck at andher, which was fairly near to my brother's office. my mobile's battery was very low. and after i made the last call to my brother, we waved at each other...the phone was dead!

i remembered what my late uncle had said to me..."don't panic, call up, and wait!" and that was what i did; and it worked!

there have been many more things i have been wanting to write...let me see if the week end permits me too...meanwhile...just bored of typing!

capturing kala ghoda

bright snaps at kala ghoda

Black Horse

kaaaaaaaalaaaaaaaaaa ghodaaaaaaaaaaaa '08!

wonder why it had to be so upmarket!? but anyway...my first kala ghoda...i loved every part of it! and with the cold, it was awsome...

the food was expensive, bot good...and to fill our stomach to the fullest, we went out to the local bhelpuri walla to have some sev puri and cheese sandwich!

i had a big glass of sugarcane juice too....

and landed up with cold the next day...ah! i dont mind it at all...

Monday Morning

It was difficult to get out from my warm cozy blanket today…however, after prolonging my sleep for an extra half hour, I finally decided to get ready for a cold winter morning. However, while I took a bus to reach the station, it was still dark. Was a bit lucky to get a fairly empty train…I stood at the gate to enjoy the cold breeze.

I put on my walkman and disconnected from the rhythmic sound of the train.

It was a beautiful morning…the sun had not risen and I could see the orangish tinge in the sky, lighting up the grey clouds. The silhouette of the city against the sky was breath taking. Somewhere in santacruz, a lady with a large vessel on her head pointed me to help her keep down the vessel in the train. Initially, I did not understand as I was engaged in my music, so I thought she wanted some space – I stepped aside. Later, she pointed out again with the finger…I then quickly helped her with the vessel…the vessel was very very heavy…the old woman’s effort was commendable. The train started with a jerk again. I was happy to see the lady pushing the vessel to place in the compartment, along with her partener, who was pretty young with some stuff on her head.

I continued with my music and the large view the gate offered me. It was now that the crescent of the moon appeared through the clouds. The clouds had a lovely orange lining by now. It reminded me of the morning when I similarly saw the candy orange sun through the door of the train, in full shape.

I got down at Dadar and got lost into the numerous men heading towards their work places. At Kabutar Khana, I saw the fluttering pigeons, but the buildings that framed the sky were still black and the sky was now completely orange, and overpowered the birds. Gushes of cool wind kept me cold, and I kept walking to the rhythm of my music…

The college was still dark, the library was shut, and the office too. I took a seat to warm myself, went on to read the notice board across me, and then was engaged with some talk with a senior. Madhavi came in by then and we went to the library, which was open by now, to have a short update over the past week. I met adarkar sir, and tried to explain him my dissertation. We discussed towards some positive anticipations…

Madhavi and I left for office then. She kept talking to me in the cab, but I could not pay attention. I was lost in mesmerizing the beautiful Monday morning…

uhhh...work but no work!

this week has been the most liberal week at the office....all the work is going slow than usual, and on top of that, the boss is not thre, so there is a lot of fun at the workplace.suddenly there is a work recession in the office, and everything seems to be lost.it seems pointless to come to the office and draft a section or two in the entire day.cant even concentrate on academics...we made maggi in the office today...and did some time pass...otherwise, no eventful days....waiting for some...

winter the leaves fall

making the trees bare all

filters through them the soft sunlight

the day cold and the sunshine bright

Do I look funny?

Over

“Over”

That was the only thing my father could say on the phone. His throat was choked. I understood, that my uncle was no more.

We waited till the next morning to cremate the body, for his son (on his way back from America to India) to see him for the last time.

We reached the crematorium at about 7 in the morning. The wood was damp, because of the dew in the morning. The service men were preparing for the cremation. The body was finally kept on the pyre. All clothes were removed, and the dead body was applied a lot of ghee. The body was covered with the same logs of wood.

On the other side, someone prepared a torch. It was finally lit. About 100 people there, all sad. Some friends, some well wishers and some relatives. A burst of weep for the last time. The body was put on fire. Within two hours, the body vanished.

It did not need any architecture for the crematorium to be one. Everyone existed in their own mental space. No enclosure, no protection, but only occupied by a sense of loss. Something disappeared right in front of our eyes, which was there till a few hours back. It was neither held by the walls, nor the roof. No material thing, no observable beauty, but the non existential fire, which made up a screen for the thoughts, the memories.

A body we tried to save and we burnt it ourselves.

It was indeed over.

The Sunday Reads

After a long time, read 3 very interesting articles in various news papers today…one was a memoir and other two talking about various issues – theoretically and at the factually.

The first one was on the news readers on Doordarshan long time ago, about their lives and how they themselves had a fan following, power, and conviviality. The most interesting part of the article is the picture of the news readers, which made me do “aaaaahhhh I remember!” in my mind, and made me remember those days, when there was no cable connection at home and my father would return back right on time for the news…

The other two were more serious. The first one talked about how, radical capitalist reforms are brought about in a treacherously planned manner after some natural/man made disaster. We generally never tend to think how stealthily, the government shifts the land under our own legs…this article was just a brief explaining the work of Canadian journalist, Naomi Klein…who studies the connection between the disaster and the reform.

The last article, on the farmers who wrote a suicide letter to the president of India made my blood boil out of fury. The three farmers in a small village of Maharashtra are completely broke and left with no other option to put an end to their life. The article can be appreciated in many ways. Firstly, it is a very well written piece, exposing the right things at the right time while reading, and also maintaining the urgency of the issue, still said in the form of a simple story. At the same time it exposes a number of issues our villages are dealing with, silently – the ill-connectivity, the simple lifestyle, the uneducated ness (through the misconception of what a cheque is), etc. it definitely paints a picture of the village in mind. Secondly, it brings up the inefficiency of our ministers and the lack of administration. The false promises, spending time at wrong places, laid back attitude…Thirdly, it discusses the personal issues of the farmers – their living conditions, social issues and their exploitation. Lastly, the article brings out the reach of media. If media is used rightfully to bring about important issues like this one instead of where Yuvraj Singh is spending his time/shah rukh’s hairstyle, I think it will make a better change.

After many Sundays, felt like sitting and reading the newspaper at length.

The articles mentioned above were:

The Doordarshan Divas, The Times of India, January 6, 2008, Page 17
Everybody loves a good Tsunami, The Times of India, January 6, 2008, Page 18
Death Wish, Mumbai Mirror, January 6, 2008, Page 6

its not blue...its not orange....its pink...
plethora of pink

angrezi gyaan bhandaar

Only a few new words I learnt during the making of my dissertation. This is how I understand them. For further explanation, please refer wikipedia.

Etymology: study of origin of a word

Semantics: development of the meaning of a word contextually over time

Kitsch: a cheap reproduction of the original

Epistemology: study of development of language

Hermeneutics: study of development of a theory and interpretation and understanding of texts.

Gestalt: a theory which does not depend on orthodox rationalism or empiricism for its explanation