I wonder, in times of crisis, we become so dependent on our near and dear ones. Earlier, it was parents who were those whom we depended upon. In recent times, it’s friends. Now there are two aspects to it – one is the duration of crisis, and second is that how much are you dependent on them.
But while seeking help from friends we sometimes forget that we start losing our own confidence levels. Further, their surrendered support becomes our spine for taking every next step that we schedule. One question is how does one realize this? Generally it happens that you do not realize how much you are bothering them – that’s because good friends don’t let you feel your dependence on them. But I wonder if they are really doing a favour by doing that – because in one sense, they are only making you weak. One needs moral support during times of crisis. But what must be the form of this moral support? Physical presence, words of inspiration, positive outlooks…what? Physical presence, I feel is the best form of expressing one’s support for the other. That is why perhaps, husbands and wives feel worthy of each other, because they feel that they would help each other in bad times. In other words, such kind of support exists in a bonded/committed relationship.
Words of inspiration on the other hand are important in an intermittent kind of relation. Such matters are liable to comparison. One can take inspiration in two ways – looking at the good work of others or by learning from the bad work of others. One gets inspired to do “as good as” the best or “better than” the bad. While those were the practical derivations of inspiration, words of inspiration may also come from philosophy. Philosophical thoughts most of the times give strength, and also save one even during failures. But ultimately, philosophy is what takes the form of a positive outlook. There is a philosophy existing in the world which will make you feel happy and worthy of yourself in any time of your life. But the above two things are much sought after things from friends in times of crisis.
On a different note, a friendship becomes vulnerable during times of crisis. The amount of support that you get from cronies during tough times strengthens your trust into them. Friends, who understand this fact, sometimes may even lie or hide about the shortcomings of those in trouble. They may build up hollow words of praise or even show others down to build up confidence in you. Now, of course, that is for a good motive and perhaps they don’t even really mean all that. But then, is this ethical? Should a person not be honest about his/her opinions even in times of crisis and show the ground reality to their troubled associates? The predicament is that if they take such a step, it’s only a rift that they may create in their friendship. Our minds start thinking very binarily during times of crisis and we tend to make things easy for us by segregating them into – good or bad, positive or negative, happening or not happening…we may create a lot of fuss and confusions with our good friends if we get into all that if their support is not in our favour. So we must understand that there is also a middle path and there is also a possibility that we may think how we would have reacted to situations if it was vice versa. That is why it is said that one must always maintain one’s cool - in times good or bad.
We must give sufficient space to our good friends even during our times of crisis and not get completely dependent on them. That would only make us strong and help in maintaining a good friendship. Not that by taking help, that would not happen, but its only that one would be avoiding a lot of misunderstandings if things go wrong!
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