To become a student again after four years of graduating is a strange feeling. It's like a constant battle between the freedom one can take and the forces of institution that tie you down. This time, the feeling of being a student is a different one - something between the states of being confident and the underconfidence that you wish to fill up through your further study. As against the undergraduate study course where all is welcome and acceptable as a part of your learning, graduate studies are about foucsing, chanelling, tuning, fine tuning and sharpening your skills into one area for specialization. This process calls for a lot of discarding of what may be apparently interesting for you to know, but not necessary for you to learn. Thus, the probability of things you should be doing reduces.
On the other hand, being an 'alien' student in a distant country, I can now relate to experiences that students going to cities from small places for education undergo. I am sure that my present difficulty would help me appreicate and empathize with what outstation students undergo when they come to a new place, especially a city. The exprience of a city is overwhelming, since it gets you landed in an extremely complex web of rules, regulations and unfamiliarity at once. Inspite of the fact that I am not in a big city in US - infact I am in a very small town (not even a city) - I can feel the friction of unfamiliarity.
Unfamiliarity with history, culture and people; with systems, regulations and ethics of the place makes me quiet and feel secluded. Being a town, one doesnot see much activity here. And soon, when it becomes cold, streets will be laden with snow and there will be nothing to look out through my large window! The disconnect with a place due to your cultural roots being somewhere else can be distracting. My mind is preoccupied by thought of what can be done of this distance that I feel with this new culture. I generally try to fill this distance through writing and recording. In the recent days, I have found myself too distracted to record too...
And I absolutely dislike the fact that my experiences are following the trajectory of 'culture shock theory'. Where on one hand it comforts me, it also makes me feel quintessential...
But I am managing. Quiteness helps looking inwards. And perhaps it is one big aspect of learning.
On the other hand, being an 'alien' student in a distant country, I can now relate to experiences that students going to cities from small places for education undergo. I am sure that my present difficulty would help me appreicate and empathize with what outstation students undergo when they come to a new place, especially a city. The exprience of a city is overwhelming, since it gets you landed in an extremely complex web of rules, regulations and unfamiliarity at once. Inspite of the fact that I am not in a big city in US - infact I am in a very small town (not even a city) - I can feel the friction of unfamiliarity.
Unfamiliarity with history, culture and people; with systems, regulations and ethics of the place makes me quiet and feel secluded. Being a town, one doesnot see much activity here. And soon, when it becomes cold, streets will be laden with snow and there will be nothing to look out through my large window! The disconnect with a place due to your cultural roots being somewhere else can be distracting. My mind is preoccupied by thought of what can be done of this distance that I feel with this new culture. I generally try to fill this distance through writing and recording. In the recent days, I have found myself too distracted to record too...
And I absolutely dislike the fact that my experiences are following the trajectory of 'culture shock theory'. Where on one hand it comforts me, it also makes me feel quintessential...
But I am managing. Quiteness helps looking inwards. And perhaps it is one big aspect of learning.
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