and i thought i was the most troubled!

yesterday, i had gone to my uncle's place and met all my family. The occasion was actually the 13th day of after my grand aunt's expiry. However, i got into a discussion with my younger sister...a year younger to me...she was feeling low...

She sincerely told me..."our office is shifting to Mumbai Central from Goregaon...and now tomorrow onwards, i will have to travel all the way from Borivli to Mumbai central..i am fed up...

Fifteen people have already been removed from office on the premise of cost cutting. I was saved because uncle had got me into this job. Now all the load is going to come on me..of all those who have left. I have my exams coming up in two months. My senior is not nice to me...he plays politics. The colleague who used to handle me well left office. I want to leave. I am not able to grow..."

This all came out very subtly...and as I tried to console her saying that all is fine..and it's natural to think like that...and she almost started crying...

oh my little sister...i felt very sorry...but that was just half the story...she continued:

"The problem is not that i am fed up. I can leave this job. but I can not stay at home." I thought that this was a response of just getting used to work. But she said, "i cant stay at home because i cant handle mummy..." (her mother is psychologically unstable) "She keeps on putting all her frustration on us (father, herself and her sibling). i don't know how papa handles her...I tend to get wild sometimes. I am short tempered. I understand she is like that, but how much can i take. There is no mental peace. She asks me too many questions - about herself, and about me...even if I get a call, she asks me too many questions. I have stopped taking calls at home now. I have come up, but what will happen to my younger sister...what values will she take...there is no positive atmosphere at home. I am worried. I am tensed."

There are so many loops above which i haven't mentioned. but I could do nothing but empathise and console her.

Everyone's story is the same:

"It happens only with me"

and I thought it was only me!

mental peace...
space...
mess...

and to end:

itni shakti humey dena daata
man kaa vishwaas kamzor ho naa
ham chale nek rastey pe humse
bhool kar bhi koi bhool ho naa.

Mess

i wonder what happens to those who choose not to be a part of this worldly 'mess'. while my reading of 'maximum city' introduces me to more and more mess all around, it is difficult to understand if there is no option other than getting sucked into it. what does one become if not mess. and even if you are not a part of the mess, you will be always identified as its part - because for people on the other side, its always the other side which is the mess.

i am worried -

i am worried if i too will end up messing myself! that will be terrible.

it makes me feel happier to have done a project which pokes the mess. now, i all the more believe in the theory of mess - the world is a cinema for the blind. it is a temple for an atheist.

can one only live for oneself then? the purpose being that of the sea gull - survival. as prarthana and me were discussing the other day, all discussions can be rooted in two basic purposes in life - pleasure and fear. and when there are people who have broken these ideas in their lives; they exist like polarised elements - the inexperienced as nascent and unstable, and the experienced as settled stable particles. they do not contribute, they donot adapt - they just are - just!

Five Gardens

Now this is nostalgic...
the huge plan of Five Gardens, prepared by 12 of us in 3rd year...some drew, some coloured, some rendered, some stuck pics , some analysed, some wrote....to put it together! wow...that is called team work!

The Fountainhead

Is life anything different from the landscape Ayn Rand has described in Fountainhead.
Today i experienced a Gail Wynand and a Toohey talking about Peter Keatings and Howards. it was hard to absorb, but i guess the best way to adjust is to JUST know them and not interfere!

Murphy's Law

If anything can go wrong,it will.

speech and text

I do not remember reading any of IAB’s articles indulgently. Today when I sat to read one of the articles, I realized what was wrong!

I feel written language too must have a tonal quality. The glibness with which you register a sentence was not present in the passage I read from the magazine. I found the same problem with the concept notes of the magazine, most probably prepared by the same person. The combination of words, which we use have to be easy for the tongue to twist. On the other hand, there are some phrases, which we are comfortable with. Many a times, we try and innovate, but I think then it becomes important to preserve the tonal aspect of the more used to phrase.

To cite some examples:

Phrases From, IAB Dec 2008 pg 45

Architectural road – architectural path
Time being opportune for practices – time being appropriate for practices
Versatile matrix – unnecessary use of adjective.
More mature future – note the “re-re-re’ in the end of all three words!

See what it does to your tongue. It will be difficult for the brain to register them.

I wonder if that is the way language has to be purposely made complicated. One can complicate ideas, by using simple words – like these theorists do…

To give examples:

Space of representation – representational space
Form of knowledge – knowledge of form
Realizing philosophy – philosophizing reality
Imagined space – spatial imagination

These are some beautiful things, which tingle your mind – without twisting the tongue – or rather they twist your brain!