Last week has been emotionally drenching. This was primarily because I almost had to counsel parents with a host of their own problems with their wards. The first day, Atul and Adarkar Sir werent there at all. The second day, Atul was there for the rescue. However, although we had mentioned only 2 days on the Warning letters that we sent to the students, parents kept pouring in. Most of them came perhaps just to meet. Of those whom we really expected, very few came!
For parents, it's the colour. Red and black. That's the only point of distinction that they can make out.
"Why are there so many red marks?" - and most would even ignore if the difference was by a mark or 2, or if it was made red mistakenly. The question was only for the colour. There was hardly any concern for the future of the ward. All came with two binary assumptions: "He/she is too good to get it" or "Please help, this won't happen again".
The correct age should be 20. We need that space to experiment with lives. In those tight 5 years, so many decisions are taken: the field, the specilization, the career, the future, the practice - all of it. And if it goes wrong, very few are left with any further choice. 25 you marry, 28 you have a family, and 30-40 is your "maximum gain" period. After 40 you are a generation. After 50 you have to retire! For a wrong decision, I wonder what life you live. Would a "family" give an individual an opportunity to re-do schooling once one finds a direction? Our context is a difficult one - may be there are exceptions too. But given the choice, how many would have the same rigour to pursue their interests? I always feel that I wouldn't be able to give my 100% for what I assumed I should have been doing 2 years ago.
Opportunity - my uncle regrets that inspite of having a tremendous aptitude, his place (then Bihar, now Jaharkhand) offered him absolutely no opportunity / outlet for expression of his talent. He has an immense cognitive understanding of things around him and has a full fleged mechanical workshop. However, he feels he would have been a different person altogether if he got a chance may be to study in a city, or to talk to intelligent people around him or if he only had the means to go out. 3 years ago, when I told him my thesis topic - he had the same smile (a cynical, poetic, smirk), that I would expect from anyone - "अंधों का सिनेमा" - "Cinema for the blind". I felt deeply satisfied to talk to him. He was the first person after perhaps only Prasad Shetty to share that sense of the project. I tremendously appreciate his optimism in a situation that I would end up in a "life is a b****" statement. Why should it happen to any one? WHY? He feels helpless for his children. And once the age passes by, the children lose enthusiasm too. Today, my cousins have just accepted it as a fact of their life.
There are things that would be too personal to write here. But I would never like to face them as a teacher. Rather, why should I be counselling parents with all their gamut of personal problems? I am here to teach, and learn. Does this happen elsewhere? Or am I looking at ideal conditions where students bear their own responsibility?
Naah, I had no intentions to win a gold medal or a national award. I loved what I did. I could never submit a badly worked sheet: but hold on - I was willing to be marked in the negative for it, in case I submitted it late. Anyway, why am I even putting all that here? May be because I have never purged it out to anyone! But all this is inconsequential.
I just keep reminding myself, that I have to work and grow. That's it. And why should I compare my student life with my students' life - there's no logic. I am different. And they are different. There are no mirrors in here.
For parents, it's the colour. Red and black. That's the only point of distinction that they can make out.
"Why are there so many red marks?" - and most would even ignore if the difference was by a mark or 2, or if it was made red mistakenly. The question was only for the colour. There was hardly any concern for the future of the ward. All came with two binary assumptions: "He/she is too good to get it" or "Please help, this won't happen again".
भलाई का तोह ज़माना ही नहीं रहा!
No one would want their ward to stay back, even if they didnot perform well. Every one want them to get pushed! all of them! Reason is obvious: Money! Parents realize, but students don't. In the end, everyone gets pushed. The quintessential bharat ki janta: "कर लेगा अपना गुज़ारा".
Anyway, the pressing fact that I have realized is that most of the people here are in the wrong professions. And I feel worse for those who know that they don't want to do architecture and still are left with no other option. A student wanting to study medicine passionately, tried twice, but wasn't eligible (as per her score) for the stream! Another student who would want to do engineering has ended up in architecture. Some absolutely do not have the aptitude for architecture, and we still have to cope up with them. Its terrible. It's unethical/immoral to ask them to just leave. We know, they wouldnt suit this feild. But it's terrible to question their choice. I feel very sad to see them wasting their lives in the wrong profession. What is this education system which does not allow me to keep refining my choices as I mature with age? Who can know clearly what he/she wants to do at the age of 15? It's sick.
The correct age should be 20. We need that space to experiment with lives. In those tight 5 years, so many decisions are taken: the field, the specilization, the career, the future, the practice - all of it. And if it goes wrong, very few are left with any further choice. 25 you marry, 28 you have a family, and 30-40 is your "maximum gain" period. After 40 you are a generation. After 50 you have to retire! For a wrong decision, I wonder what life you live. Would a "family" give an individual an opportunity to re-do schooling once one finds a direction? Our context is a difficult one - may be there are exceptions too. But given the choice, how many would have the same rigour to pursue their interests? I always feel that I wouldn't be able to give my 100% for what I assumed I should have been doing 2 years ago.
Opportunity - my uncle regrets that inspite of having a tremendous aptitude, his place (then Bihar, now Jaharkhand) offered him absolutely no opportunity / outlet for expression of his talent. He has an immense cognitive understanding of things around him and has a full fleged mechanical workshop. However, he feels he would have been a different person altogether if he got a chance may be to study in a city, or to talk to intelligent people around him or if he only had the means to go out. 3 years ago, when I told him my thesis topic - he had the same smile (a cynical, poetic, smirk), that I would expect from anyone - "अंधों का सिनेमा" - "Cinema for the blind". I felt deeply satisfied to talk to him. He was the first person after perhaps only Prasad Shetty to share that sense of the project. I tremendously appreciate his optimism in a situation that I would end up in a "life is a b****" statement. Why should it happen to any one? WHY? He feels helpless for his children. And once the age passes by, the children lose enthusiasm too. Today, my cousins have just accepted it as a fact of their life.
There are things that would be too personal to write here. But I would never like to face them as a teacher. Rather, why should I be counselling parents with all their gamut of personal problems? I am here to teach, and learn. Does this happen elsewhere? Or am I looking at ideal conditions where students bear their own responsibility?
But I know what frame of mind students live in: "College time is to enjoy." When my friends forced me to skip classes, I could only think: "But I enjoy learning..." And not that I have less exciting memories of my college life!
Naah, I had no intentions to win a gold medal or a national award. I loved what I did. I could never submit a badly worked sheet: but hold on - I was willing to be marked in the negative for it, in case I submitted it late. Anyway, why am I even putting all that here? May be because I have never purged it out to anyone! But all this is inconsequential.
I just keep reminding myself, that I have to work and grow. That's it. And why should I compare my student life with my students' life - there's no logic. I am different. And they are different. There are no mirrors in here.
So today the head announces, that let us push them...they will do good in life... there goes the joyride. And as I butcher my own principles, I told myself, "Anuj, the world is a cinema for the blind, why do you want to see?"
Anyway, I would elaborate in another post what constructs my idealism. That will be an interesting one isn't it?
2 comments:
anuj... i'd like to read ur stuff if only you would space it out more and make it easier on the eyes.
jun
Hope it reads better now!
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