Hair Dressing Dilemma

It was long ago that my father stopped waking us (me and my brother) up in the early morning. The discipline of getting up in the morning by 7:30 perhaps could not be rationalized with our age. Perhaps he understood that he is forcing it upon us. And therefore, now he allows us to sleep for long morning hours.

Earlier, my father would also get impatient if our hair was not combed immediately after bath. However, we realized that the hair should be allowed to dry a bit, such that the hair oil and water do not react to attract more dust. So now, sometimes, when we are at home, combing hair become an afternoon activity! Perhaps this is deteriorating the quality of setting of my hair.

I realized today that my hair wasn’t setting properly. I recently had a hair cut. My cousin had already commented on the hair cut classifying it as ‘improper’. Initially I tried applying water, more water and even oil…but the hair would not set! so I decided to go to the hair dresser and complain. And I did. I complained with confidence. Ofcourse he got agitated, and gave me a free trimming again!

But I realized today the dynamics of hair dressing. I always believed that our hair in the top of the head must not fall on the forehead! But the salon educated me that this frontal hair will always fall on the forehead, that too if very short! I then wondered that what he said should be right – the head is hemispherical in shape and each hair on the head is acted upon by gravity in a different manner! So that makes the hair dresser’s job so complex – for a person like me who demands that no hair on my head should stand out like the tail of a hen!

I know I have made the explanation very scientific, but it is so. Atleast I understood how the job of the hair cutter becomes complex (though I always believed that it was, today I understood the nature of his complexity!).
Having said the above, I am planning to change my hair dresser from the coming turn…this one always leaves me disappointed!

In difficult times...

Something that expresses the circumstances at this moment in my life perfectly...




image courtsey: Marianna Hillmer

A brief update of Life

The past 3 weeks have been so busy that i have had no time to even think what i have been doing. Well, I don t remember where I should start, but there are 3 prime things that I can categorize my activities under:

1. Academics
2. Applications
3. The Cultural Spaces project

Since it was the time to break during diwali, a lot of portion had to be completed. It was the time when I had to prepare the graphics lecture – deliver for 3 hours. On the other hand, juries at Kamla Raheja and Academy…there was so much of thinking activity happening. Along with this was the fellowship, which I have not even got a chance to think about. There was an extreme pressure to be considerate towards students and not let one frustration pour over another.

On the other hand, I gave my GRE and then later TOEFL – and god knows how I managed both! Luckily, it was a weekend and a Dassera holiday before my GRE exam and I got 2 whole days to study. This was the peak of preparation for the Cultural Spaces project. I am grateful to my boss at the MMB to allow me a holiday on the day of my exam. The GRE experience could be elaborated in another blog, and I do not have the time to do that, but all I can say right now is that I can’t understand why I got such less marks even when I felt that the paper was easy. How is one to understand or comprehend such a feeling? My score was just 1140 and it still scares me while putting my applications. On the other hand, I literally had no time to prepare for TOEFL. I just took a CD one day prior to my exams from a friend, and had to seriously catch up on sleep the day before the exam. I went home straight from college and slept for a good 4 hours. I then got up and revised from the computer software. I felt so lazy even practicing those questions that I just familiarized myself with the questions and went back to sleep. The toefl exam was long, extraordinarily long. I felt it was an utter waste of time and resources. Both in GRE and TOEFL, I feel I did well in the Writing sections.

Lastly. the cultural spaces project was a roller coaster. It started with elaborate preparations in Mumbai before going – making lists, confirming schedules, pick ups and drop-offs…plethora of silly managerial things…However, after about 20 years, I made a journey through the flight again. The main meeting was to be held in Delhi and we were accommodated at the Taj Palace. This was my first stay at a fivestar hotel… I made some blunders too – by eating from the store…and paid a bomb – but that was just a case of misunderstanding by me. Anyway, I don’t want to elaborate on that enough. We travelled in Delhi for a day and I met a lot of people – considered to be great names in the research and criticism field. the meeting was very formal, which was not intended to be so. The food at Delhi was only German and Thai all the time, which was partly the reason of munching at the Taj (oh! I still feel the pinch on my pocket!). Rupali, Matthias and myself came back a day earlier to start the Mapping workshop at Kamla Raheja…I never got a chance to participate in the workshop, but the next day, I took Matthias for a South Mumbai Darshan. I think I made him mad after a lot of walking and roaming. But I think now I know about him a lot more than anyone else in the international expert team. Matthias was the sweetest of all in the group! As the days went by, the experts started making shifts in their schedules and then started the rounds of changes, rescheduling and re informing. I could hardly concentrate on all that, since I was busy with ,my TOEFL, colleges and also I was least interested in the managerial jobs. However, Jayashree did taunt me a couple of times, which I almost ignored, until the last day. On 17th, when the trip was supposed to end, Jayashree again wanted to tell me things, but I also resisted to some extent. Later, I spoke to Marla and things were fine.
Diwali was good – I invited Robert and Bindi home for the laxmi poojan. Otherwise the Diwali was a quite affair…it gave a much needed rest time and I have got back at my applications and paperwork…

Have to compile a portfolio, resume, SOP, transcripts, admission forms, recommendations….a lot of stuff to be done…so no breathing time yet…hope to see positive signs in future!

:( :) :/ :&

It is quite unfortunate, that though there have been such important and interesting twists in life, i have gotten time to write this blog at a time when i am extremely put off.

However, I am going to generalize this phenomenon and blur the specifics such that my post is politically correct. It is now apparent to me that only donkey work will pay you well. This work is mechanical and involves a lot of ‘running around’. My theory is that since there are very few people who can do such running around well, they get paid very well. That is I guess, the job of Event Organizers is based on such a premise. Such people have a great network, and they show it off brilliantly. All they do is find specialists and supply them to those needed.

On the other hand, it is completely absurd to be a ‘jack of all trades’ in the contemporary modern world. The professional world is craving for more and more specialization. One day will come when there will be specialists who will tell you how to tie the lace of your shoe or wipe your ass hole after shitting! In this race, the Germans will be in the forefront, I guess.

anyway, I am SICK OF BEING FORMAL…

and I want to stop writing this shit!!!!

finally BUSY

suddenly everthing seems to come together to me:

RIBA submission
KRV fellowship
KRV teaching
AOA teaching
MMB flignt co ordination
GRE preparations
TOEFL registration

Hush....

timetables are not working to the fullest

still...architecture teaches to endure pressures...
i feel like a sugarcane between the two cylinders...
still to come is:

TOEFL preps and exams
Portfolio - design, print, despatch
applications
paper work

waah!
its all set till the next mid year it seems!

The Art of Giving

A gift is a difficult thing to comprehend. One has to select something for the other, relying on his taste. The gift always lies on the vulnerable edge of liking or disliking. Further, when gift has a monetary value, it falls under the perview of functionality and usability. Then there is a usable and a useless object. There are many times when gifts circulate. They keep on getting passed from one hand to the other as gifts. I was wondering if gifts ever become usable and assume a part of our everyday lives. It is then when a gift is assumed to be worth. But in that case, the gift becomes ephemeral. Then it continues to live on in memories once the physicality of it is gone, or has become redundant.

Today, children have become so sensitive about gifts. Right from their childhood, they are forced into the custom of distributing and accepting gifts. The gift has become an object to be learnt as a part of the curriculum. An then is to be learnt the art of giving. I wonder if the concept of gift was so strong in early ages. In the present time, children are so possessive and sensitive about receiving gifts. I use ‘receive‘ because now-a-days, you receive a gift even when you give a gift – the ‘return’ gift.

Children today even question the host if they do not receive a return gift. It was never so atleast in our childhood. Today it has also become a matter of lifestyle and class. My nephews studying in reasonably good schools receive ‘Birthday invitation cards’. I always thought that personal invitation cards are only for marriages. Suddenly casual things have become so formal – customary.

When I was small, I used to prepare greeting cards. My mother never used to give me enough money to buy a printed archies card. So the only option was to make one. This was beneficial on two accounts – it fostered my creativity and saved money. Many a times, I still used to stand at card galleries, stealing concepts to make cards. I used to maintain a book in which I used to write what could comprise the matter inside a card. These included rhymes, poems, anecdotes, sayings, and all sorts of things to write.

But that was not all. To make a card, one would require a lot many things. Sketch pens, crayons, coloured paper, stickers and later on sparkles, fancy scissors which could cut zig zag – I still have all of them. I would be always on the look out for good cartoons, flowers and funny figures in magazines, news papers, note book covers…then slowly, patiently cutting them by their outlines. I think that involved so much of the self. It too involved time – in finally arranging stuff to prepare the greeting card. To think what to write. Even if on a rare occasion, a card was purchased, time would be dedicated in carefully and thoughtfully decorating it…and then the envelope, because envelope is the first thing one sees.

Cards are gone. People do not appreciate cards. I have cards for about 10 of my birthdays still preserved. When i see those, all memories come back to me. It is almost nostalgic. The best part was that One could post cards via the mail too. One would wait on the other hand, to receive a card on the birthday, and it would involve the memories of the person too.

As we grow up and start earning, we realize that we can spend now. But instead of buying a card, we look for ‘value of money’ and rather prefer a usable object than a card. This object is so mean – it vests the power of ‘liking’ in itself. It brings jealousy, dissatisfaction and doesnot even have an emotional value. It is not accepted as a gift, but an object. And the moment it reveals itself in the hand, it starts the judgmental cycle. And the person immediately starts to think, ‘will I use it?’

Greeting cards were noble. They atleast took some time and allowed the person to appreciate the effort – either in making or decorating. One always knew it was a memory, not usable, and hence did not go in the other realm of judgment.
A gift is no more a gift. Unfortunately.

Insistence on being certain?

I have let it sink in…may be…

My biggest complaint with Correa was that he claimed to give me the award only because of benefit of doubt. He should not have given the award to me if that was the case. That’s why the status onthe facebook. On the other hand, i wonder if a person like him too feels that ‚teaching‘, ‚writing‘ and criticism are for wanderers. They are ‚some‘ jobs, and not as specific as ‚architecture‘. What i also wondered was that if he too was as narrow minded to think of an architect as a person who would, or rather should ‚build‘. The other argument which would favour him was that if i had gone to him, it better be for an architectural criticism and not for a ,flowery‘ word talk. Agreed. But one can always enjoy the spirit of the subject.

The meet reminded me of the book Haroun and the Sea of Stories, where the protagonist’s father is a story teller. I wonder if story tellers are useless people? Is writing or teaching an abstruse profession? Why do educated people look down upon such fields? It also reminds me, in a bitter way, what George Bernard Shaw said, „Those who can do nothing, teach, those who can not teach, write“. While the shade in which he must have written may be sarcastically poking or legitimizing his own profession, it definitely pricks when others use it in a poky fashion.

What does one do, if one finds his niche at a very late stage in life? In the process of finding ones calling, one may end up involving himself or herself in a completely different course of study. But having completed it, does one become bound to follow it or practice it the rest of his or her life? Does an educated society fail to understand the confusion within a young mind? Can an educated person like Correa not address the confusion of a young mind instead of riduculing it?

Confusion has allowed me only to ask more questions. These questions generate a thirst for answers. Hence i write. I write in order to detail my questions to an extent that they resolve themselves as rhetorics. This endsup in my writings. I like writing. I like teaching because i am able to discuss my confusion with others. Many times, these discussions take artistic forms : architectural manifestations or artistic drawings. Such confusion existed in my thesis too. But is it really bad? Something to feel so worse for? Again i am raising questions, and i guess, most of my sentences end in question marks! Thats not good though, is it?

This constant conflict to take a stand and move on is irritating. Life is not worth it. One misses so many moments in this silly confusion. But may be, it has allowed me to be more sympathetic towards others who are not able to decide and humble towards the smallest of jobs. After all, who knows, i may end my life just as a story teller or a typist!

Meeting Charles Correa

I met Mr. Charles Correa today.

I spent the last night dreaming about him, the last week dreaming about him and the last month trying to reach him. My meeting was timed spaciously – at 11 am.

I left home at nine, and I knew that in Mumbai, 2 hours for travelling too is less. And I was right. I stepped out of home and it started raining, pouring heavily. I had an A2 portfolio, my bag and an umbrella. i was almost fully wet by the time the fifth bus came, as I had to leave the other four – they were full. I cursed Mumbai so much, the people so much! I did not get an auto rickshaw too…I realized that I had to take a ticket too, since my pass allows to travel only till Dadar. I again cursed anticipating the crowd at the ticketing counter.

I got down at the station from the bus and saw the Goregaon local passing in front of my eyes. Needless to guess – the bus stopped at bloody every signal and got stuck in every damn traffic…I cursed the driver of the bus too.

The only credit I could have is the next local (after which there were none, and my boarding the train would be impossible). I waited (rather wasted) 20 minutes to take the 9:56 local. I boarded in praying that it would take me to Charni Road in time. I managed to reach the station 15 minutes in advance of my meeting time and was at CCA exactly at 11 am. (though I was on time, now I feel so hopeless about the city – 2 hours FLAT wasted in travelling!)

I was almost instantly taken to Correa’s cabin. I saw the big man working on his desk…2 minutes later, he welcomed me and told me to take a seat near him. I asked him about his health and he said he is fine. He immediately asked me, “So tell me, what did you want to meet me for.” I said, “I just wanted to discuss my project, because I could not do it earlier.”

I got my sheets and put them on his table. He told me to explain. I said the first sentence about the project and he interrupted, “Yeah I remember, but whom are you building for?” I said, “The blind”. And he said, “Speak clearly, who is the blind – the insensitive or the real blind”. I said it was a metaphor. But he didn’t like it. He immediately said, “We almost gave you the medal on the benefit of doubt. Many of them thought that ‘this guy is just talking about some things’. But you got it only because of benefit of doubt…so tell me, who is blind?”

I said it was the "insensitive".

“You see you are slipping. I would never like to work with you. Because you are not clear. You have to be clear. You are playing with words. You can be a critic, or a poet or write books. But you have to be clear. Otherwise, you will keep doing these all your life and not go anywhere, and do some vague thing. What do you mean by blind. Show me your plan. What did you do? When we saw your plan we did not see any form of auditorium, or seating or any such thing. What are you expecting people to do inside?”

I explained the interpretation of the cinema hall.

“But how big is it? What scale is the drawing at? It seems that you have gone wrong at scale. Its just a drawing you see…? How much is this…” he asked pointing to the distance between two columns.

It has been 3 years now and I had forgotten the measurements. I still tried –
“Sir, the hall is 450 sq m. I am expecting about 50 people inside each hall”
“but how is it that much? (he took a scale). I had to guess…I blurted…the columns are about 8 metres apart. So the hall is about 32 x 20 metres ( I realized that it was wrong), but I had no other option…but to guess…) I told him that for composing the sheet, I had to take a non-architectural scale.

He handed over me the scale and told me to measure it. Now was the catch. While I was measuring, I felt something was wrong. Either I was confused with the triangular scale, or the drawing was wrong. He could make out the apprehension on my face. He asked if I was Dhaval’s friend., and I answered in a positive. He asked me if I wanted Dhaval’s help. I hesitated. He still called Dhaval inside. Dhaval fakely showed his surprise to me as he entered.

Dhaval took the initiative and explained the project. The whole intensity was lost to the question of “how would one make a Cinema for the Blind.” He saw things here and there, made things much clearer, dissected the “blind”. I kept nodding. Dhaval and he were almost having a discussion on my project. I did not get even a chance to speak. But I guess that was ok.

He was not interested in poetry and metaphor, but the physical building. And dhaval was much better at explaining the resolution. The fun of the project. He also pointed out the link in the cinema and the blind. I explained him further. He liked it. He liked the drawings, the sketches. He waited on the ‘experience’ on the link, and explained and questioned it.

While he was making pencil marks on my sheets, he was erasing it too. He did it with “experience” too. Then, while elaborating on experience, I rubbed my hand against the rubber dust he created on the sheet. He must have felt that I did not like him scrubbing on my sheets (which is not true). Later he took out his notepad saying that he would not like to spoil my sheets…

I wondered if he didn’t like my wiping away the rubber dust, or misinterpreted the action into something else…

We later discussed architects like Venturi, Kahn, Ando, Corbusier, Palladio etc. We also discussed buildings like the Rotunda, the Pantheon, etc. He somewhat criticized Venturi. I could have defended. But I kept quiet.

I wanted to ask him many things. but I kept mumb. It was about an hour. At perfect 12:00 he said he had to call it off.

He did not want to discourage me, he said, but wanted me to have more clarity.
I understood that my first impression on him must have been terrible. The rest of the story, I must ask Dhaval…

A day with lots of people...

I had been to Kamla Raheja some days ago and the day was extremely eventful…in the morning, I contacted Ateya and found out that she would be there in KRV that day. As I reached the place, I found Namrata (Kapoor) and Ateya in their auditorium watching Persepolis. Though I did not catch up with the entire movie, I saw some ending portion of it and it was really nice. Ateya and I and also Namrata spoke for some time after the movie when some students came for a review of their work. It was interesting to discuss their work (which was a part of the workshop which Ateya and Namrata were taking). After a long time, I interacted with students. It was refreshing.

We later went up to the staff room (I guess that is what it was) to have lunch. Outside the same, I met Mayuri(Sisodia). I had met him at the Metrologue workshop. She said that she was going off to Bartlett and i gave her Prarthana's contact. She was happy to have it.

At the lunch, I did not have any thing, as I was feeling a bit embarrassed, to be in a place which I don’t think was yet for me…soon, other people started pouring in…Rohan (Shivkumar), Rupali (Gupte), Kaushik (Mukhopadhyay)…all of them…And I was not expecting to see them around…actually I was even more abashed when all of them arrived. We did not speak, but I just remained a passive listener. Later, Hansa (Thapliyal) and Mr. Kamal arrived. For those who don’t know who she is, she is a film maker. I have worked with her in a PUKAR sound editing and video editing workshop. That is primarily how I know her. Otherwise, we have always kept on bumping into each other in seminars, conferences, etc. so she knows me quite well. Also, she stays quite close to my house, but we have never met each other. The thread of this story, I will carry further later…

So Hansa was taking an elective workshop (I guess on film making) at KRVIA with Mr. Kamal , who also seemed to be a film maker. He was an old man, with white hair, twinkling eyes and sweet smile and a curiosity on his face. Soon, Kaushik introduced my thesis subject to him and he was extremely passionate about it. I briefly explained what I intended to do…and he was overjoyed… I must mention here that there are only a few people who understand my thesis idea in a go. Surprisingly, all at KRVIA understand the idea very well. So I was happy. He asked me if the thesis was published anywhere, and I told him about the publication in IA&B. but I also mentioned to him that I would like to personally meet and hand over a copy to him. I overheard him while speaking to Hansa, that he was working on some project for the blind and could gather some clues from my thesis. This was a very different intersection with a film maker and my project and unlike what Ms. Sarita Vijayan (Editor at IA&B) was proposing. She had mentioned to take this idea forward to a film maker and I rejected. I quite liked the present intersection.

Kaushik further mentioned about keeping a mock-presentation of my project at KRVIA. I agreed and also mentioned that I was more excited to see his work. But I like Kaushik because he has always been excited to see my project. Another reason is that he is from one of the finest art institutions in India – Shanti Niketan, and thirdly, he is a Bengali. I have a particular affinity towards Bengalis for the reason that half my native place is in Kolkata, and I generally like their inclination towards art culture and their perpetual ‘awe-‘ accent in any other language. Also, Bengali is a very sweet language (as far as I have heard) and it comes across…

So coming back to the day, I further went and joined Ateya and Namrata in their crit-session upstairs. I was actually hesitating to join them, because I did not want to be a ‘kabab-mein-haddi’ but I just took a seat in their room. I saw students almost dozing off when Namrata and Ateya were addressing, but I am sure they purposely left those students unnoticed. Unfortunately many students donot take interestin theoretical discourses in the present system. This is a problem with the entire country I guess. However, that’s not a problem of the tutors. But how does one flip around the scene? I tried doing it while discussing the next student’s paper. I tweaked two or three small questions into the discussion. Slowly I saw chairs moving, students waking and giggles in the class room. I was happy…but I left for I had to reach for an interview to Max Muller Bhavan. While leaving the place, I met my juniors Aditya (Sawant) and Mayuri (my college) and also saw Sriganesh, whom i didnot want to meet...so i skipped his eyes...

I reached Max Muller Bhavan about 10 minutes late. But that’s ISD and was not minded. At Goethe Institute, Max Muller Bhavan, I met Ms. Jayashree, who was the programme co ordinator over there. She was listening to beautiful music and I entered her room which had a big enough window to capture a patch of green. The corner occupied a small library with sufficient books. On the table on my right was an Apple desktop (was it apple?) but nevertheless, it was a beautiful atmosphere…

We spoke about the institute’s activities and she explained me my possible work profile. Not going deeper into this, I will cut it short and proceed to my meeting with Nihara (Kantak) at IA&B. I collected the latest issue which featured my thesis. I later went up to meet Thomas who has been shifted (actually by choice) to Chemtech from I-Structure. We spoke for some time and since we were in office, we agreed to meet later at the Marine Drive. I left the place to head towards the sea face.

While waiting at the Drive and reading the project brief provided by Ms. Jayashree, I spotted Neha (Parker) and her friend Hitesh. I went ahead and poked her. We went together to Gay Lords. Over there I met Neha’s colleagues and they too were very fascinated after knowing my thesis topic, which Neha had already spoken to them about. Thomas cancelled his meet diplomatically (realizing that I was already occupied). They left and then Dhaval joined in. we had a good discussion on our general ‘larger’ issues of life, when we left Neha in a contemplative mood.

Dhaval, Hitesh and I then left for home…

The only person I missed that day was Sonal (Sunderrajan) – I hope you are reading this sonal…that was the only day in KRVIA I didn’t meet you….

Heading No(w)here...

I would not believe myself being so restive until I started tying out at least 10 mails to different people for keeping myself busy with things. Suddenly I realize that it is so important to have work. I think work gives a background to other things that we do. The reason for the need to spend time in leisure activities is work.

Work has to be monotonous to accommodate and appreciate other activities? Isn’t it? I wonder if it is really true. And I am thinking this because I have no work to do meanwhile except preparation for further studies. I think this is the distraction that prarthana keeps talking about. To give a range of random things that I have been doing, let me mention a few – I have been visiting college frequently for meetings (the smallest of them), spending time in the library, guiding students with their thesis here and there, meeting people he help them take a decision with their studies, writing off mails to faculty at other institutes, contacting people whom I could help with their work, meeting people who are keen in getting some designing stuff done with me, preparing for fellowship research, looking up sites which publish research papers…

All these above were explored not for the sake of money, but for keeping oneself busy. one month of no work is after all, not good for a graduate – according to Indian social setup. It’s very embarrassing to tell others what I have been doing currently. So I end up saying that I am freelancing, or I am involving myself in research, or I am studying for further education. Answering calls at home on week days is like announcing “I am at home, not working”, or sitting at the library means answering the staff and juniors that meanwhile I have nothing to do in life…

Of course, it will change. There are good times and there are bad times. But there are times when you don’t know good or bad. This is one such time, when there is a lot of room to experiment, but there is no motive to do so, no drive or no purpose to involve in various things. Sterile as I say it…it’s going on...and on…and on…

there are things to write...opinions, views...but there is no disposition for the same...and the above is what i end up typing...!