The Gravy Train

Surprises are nice. But it is almost always assumed that surprises are going to be positive. How does it happen that this word by the virtue of its disposition carry a positive charge? Essentially, surprises are just events that happen without your knowledge. But to consider that these events would bring you happiness may not always be a good idea. Things happen to us, and most of us slot them as good or bad, knowing that looking back, these 'labels' for events would change. A news that seemingly seems to make you the happiest person today may evolve into the dullest of your memories, while what appears to be the worst times of your life could prove to the best in your hindsight.

How does one then make sense of things that happen? No moment is static, everything is changing. How relevant is it to be happy for something today or sad for something that occurs now? And yet, inspite of knowing this, how can one be happy about everything that happens to oneself? And can one really be neutral? And being neutral kills the idea of surprise...

May be it is better to look at events as friction. Friction allows us to leave your current position, it gives us the feeling that we have moved, or are moving. It makes us realize that what was yesterday is not today - that we have moved in some direction (even if unknown). It is like emerging out from the old skin into new. Is this emergence not a surprise? We seldom surprise ourselves when we have moved - because we dont realize that we have moved until we look back objectively. And moments when we feel we are just not moving are so laborious. It is so hard to think that we are moving all the time.

It is exactly like sitting in a running train and thinking that we are just sitting, immobile. But infact, we have moved, and we realize that only when contexts change; when the train has transported us into a new place...And what if you realize that neither did you own a ticket and nor did you know your destination before getting on to the train? Then we only look behind. Since there is no forward. What looks like a path is only a hint of a landmark. The train may not take you there. And it's funny to think about this: that if the train ever takes you to the landmark, you feel no surprise, since you knew you would reach there. And if you don't reach, you still remain unsurprised because you knew that the train is going to decide its own course.

Techno-cultural schisms and other stories

Today was definitely the most eventful day I have had in the past one year in my life at Yale. The day began with a short experiment that I participated in, then going to look for a prospective house where I would want to shift. After that, I was to meet up a friend for lunch. On the way, I met Juana who recently graduated from the MED program. It was a pleasant surprise to bump into her on my way to meet Dan over the lunch, with whom I had a long conversation - a trailing one. I came back to the school library, and scanned a few pages to be uploaded for a class. I then left for a meeting, and on the way I met Amrita, a friend newly arrived at Yale, New Haven. We had  bumped into each other in the bus two weeks ago and were planning to meet over for a conversation since a long time. We immediately asked if each was occupied over our respective meetings (3 pm - 4 pm) and decided to meet up for a chat - and pleasantly, we both decided to meet not outside a coffee shop. this is the first meeting in the US with any person that I have had purely for conversation, without strings attached (like coffee, lunch, etc.. Take the example of my earlier meeting today, where we met over lunch to converse). So we met after our respective meetings at the Bienecke Plaza - under the open sky in great weather. Things were prefect and we trailed into a yet another extremely nice conversation.

After I dropped Amrita at the bus stop, I decided to head back to my desk at school, where I aimlessly hoped to kill some time in front of the computer screen! And just as I arrived at the school, I saw Britton (my co-MED fellow) sipping his coffee, after his day long field trip. I caught up with him, and joined him in a  yet another conversation - extremely animated! The cherry on the cake was his mother joining in some time with whom we had a really exciting talk. And that is something I am going to trail off to in the latter part of this post! But it's 8 pm now, and I feel, this was my most successful day in the US. Why? Just because I felt this was the most socially active day I have had in the US over the last 400 days! It made me feel social, that I knew people around and that unexpected conversations do happen here... I felt happy about doing nothing in terms of work, but just being able to talk to multiple people, from different areas of study, about different subjects, in one day, on the same campus! May be it was just a lucky day. In the evening, a couple of friends passing by us told us that there was a rainbow in the sky - which Britton and I missed! But if that was supposed to mean anything, it was only that once in a while, the grey skies of New Haven can really get colourful! To still have it, I captured a picture of the dormer brightened by a streak of golden sunlight across us!

---

As Britton went on to explain how he spent his day at a perfume factory, he explained the extremely mechanized and human-free environment of the place. This led us to a long conversation about the extremities of technology, its effect on humans and thus the condition of social space in America. Britton's mother told us that she works at the a public library in New Haven, to where she was (perhaps) extrapolating the idea of mechanical hands pulling books (or something to the effect of that, which I donot remember). This led us to talking about how the idea of bringing in the machine aims at eliminating any kind of human intervention in performing activities in order to achieve more efficiency, more output and increased productivity. The humans then, are merely controlling or managing the system, instead of actually participating or being a part of the setup.

I mentioned to both of them how the Sterling library (the chief library at Yale) has almost successfully initiated the process of accuracy checking of reshelved books (which was once manually done) via machines. To be more elaborate, the books that are returned to the library by the patrons are reshelved by a team of people who are trained to place them back at their appropriate positions. In order to make sure that these have been reshelved properly, till recently, there would be a team of people who would re-check these placed books by tracking them through the slips one inserted into them, which made them stand out amongst the other. Needless to say that inspite of the whole system being absolutely well designed and full proof, there may be a 5% chance of error, in the case of which one may not find a book in place! (This is totally understandable when you have about 30 lakh books in a single library!). However, still, the librarians wanted to be better (which I feel is commendable, and absolutely praiseworthy of their aspirations). Thus in this endavour, they wanted to make the process of accuracy checking human-free, or in other words, error-free.

The library has therefore invested some time and energy into creating a system where the books can be scanned using a bluetooth device, tracking their barcodes. They already have the entire digital database of the each and ever book that exists in the library. A person in this case would only need to keep scanning the barcodes of books laid in a row, and feed that information in this newly created software. As soon as that information is plugged in, the software generates a detailed report of whether the books are kept in proper order (as per their call numbers), which books are incorrectly placed, or whether the barcodes do not match to the call numbers of the books. In addition, the system would also be able to say which books are missing, whether they have been lent out to someone, for how long are they missing, when were the last borrowed, how frequently which books are borrowed, which books have been lying in the shelves un-borrowed since when, and such more and more information that is unimaginable.

Our manager called this report as "the archaeology of the library" and believes Yale to be the first University library to employ this system. When the above system replaces the old manual system of checking, one would require a team of people to sit and only analyze the data that has been generated. The statistics that this system offers is so dense, that one would literally require a team of managers to generate excel sheets that give out extremely fascinating and revealing information about the intellectual terrain of knowledge dissemination that the library extends.

Britton's mother was very pleased to understand that the Sterling library invested so much into checking whether the books were in order and pointed out how they were under-staffed at the Public library to be able to carry out this activity. From a trailing thought over which she mentioned that a lot of homeless would take shelter at the library, I tried to ask her why these same homeless couldn't be employed towards the needs of the library, since after all, checking numbers is not really an activity that requires complicated scientific knowledge. She had great stories to share on this.

We now have question about the homeless, the need for human resource, the extreme mechanization - which direct us to an skewed understanding of the skewed social make-up of America. In other words, there is a situation of the need for human resource, the excess of human resource (the homeless) and the gap created by the mechanization. I was trying to see if these resources could become symbiotic in any way.

---

Every developed country, like the US, aspires to be more and more perfect in what it delivers to the world. It wants to be as consistent as the machine - something that never makes a mistake, that works without interruptions, that is extremely timely, punctual and works exactly according to the instructions that it has been fed with. Systems in the US are similar, rather, each activity is always broken up in to smaller sets of processes (imagine algorithms for people) and each person is allocated an algorithm to execute. Thus, people follow these systems and almost work like machines. however, the trend now is that they are slowly replacing these machine-like human activities with machines themselves. So a human activity of checking out a book through the librarian is automated using a kiosk, where you can scan the barcode of the book that you just pulled out of the library, and get a slip as a record of when you have drawn out, and need to return the book. Thus, soon, they would not require a front desk at all, eliminating the need of people to hand over books or receive books.

Similarly, the elimination of human intervention is a rapidly growing phenomenon. Each human activity is thus taken over by the computer, or computerised interface. While the present generation gets more and more savvy with these systems, the need and the work expected out of humans is not only reduced but also dumbed down. On the other hand, there is still the older generation that has no clue about what this new technology is all about, since they were born in an era when computers didnot even exist. I am referring to the generation, for example, of Britton's mother, who perhaps was born during the 60s!

Britton's mother explained how it was extremely difficult for the older people to get jobs here these days, because of their unfamiliarity to the new emerging technology. New systems here have a complete electronic interface. Even in order that you apply for a job, you will need an "e-mail" id, which itself is a very new thing to the older generation here. I have met a lot of people here, who are absolutely vary of the cell phone to. Take for example my own landlord, who doesnot use the mobile phone. To him, the mobile phone is as much complex as much it is an object representative of the new age. Inspite of the fact that he owns an age old version - a black and while, primitive flip phone, he is un-informed about its functions and usage. He struggles to make a call on cell phone and doesnot understand how much it is to be charged, what signs on its screen mean what and so on. To complicate it further, he almost (like many of us, who are technologically poor / not techno-savvy) fears these devices - which may misbehave in case they are fiddled with in the wrong way. This fear very much exists here too, as much like any other place.

Ironically here, I want to mention, that as much as technology aims to ameliorate this generation gap, or bridge it, and make itself accessible, it increases it. Strange contradictions appear. I will explain it through a series of examples.

People are pretty much on their own in the US (the result of the notion of independence and the independent self). This applies to all the older generation too, who have witnessed an almost exponential and dramatic shift of technology in their lifetimes - from once manually driven things, to the automated world today. One can only imagine the experience and effect of this sliding techno-social space to be sharper in the developed countries, for two reasons - one is the rapid innovation in technology, and the other is their pressures to not depend on any one else to understand new systems of working and operating.

My landlord often has to find his own way to solve issues that spring up regarding his phone bill, or gas bill, or television bills, or internet plans and so on. While he would ideally physically meet the person who installed these things at his home back in his young days, today he has to only get in touch with a customer service centre through a phone call. While one can perceive that this reduces the effort of the old man traveling to a real person to a mere phone call, here is what really happens. Today, when he calls up a service centre, he has to first enter a series of digits to prove that he is a human being, and eventually get to talk to a human being. The person who he eventually reaches to, asks him the same questions that he just digitally answered by pressing the phone keys! He does it anyway. And then the operator on the phone call talks to him almost like a machine. When he/she is not able to help him, my landlord keeps repeating and talking the same thing (after passing through a range of people, until he reaches the person in the right department, who is specialized to address the specific question regarding his specific doubt) - almost like a machine - which has frustrated him (remember his old age, his unfamiliarity to the technology and his level of patience belong to a different age).

This system is recently being more refined. Instead of the layers of pressing keys in order to get to the right department or right person, there are automated messages that speak to you over the phone. My landlord perhaps has still not completely taken gotten a hang of this. And rightly so, since these voices are so real, that you don't know if they are machines. A lot of times, when he is expected to answer as "Yes" or "No" - standardized answers which the machine can decipher through the sounds, he mixes up. He tries to have a conversation with the machine, elaborating on his affirmations or negations (Yes's and no's). As much as I pity him, I also realize the complexity of the system. That is, in its tryst to become human, and replace the human to make the space more 'easy', the machine does exactly the opposite. It becomes more and more difficult for the older folk to understand the machine automated world.

There are countless examples I can give regarding this. The automated self-check out stations at the shopping centres, the self check out gas stations, the automated bill paying systems, the automated printing stations - this country wants to automate every human activity. They want to eliminate any possible human activity by installing computerized interfaces. It wants to seamlessly merge the real and the virtual, in doing which, it cuts off social contact, it eliminates the possible meeting of two people, the possibility of chance encounters or casual conversations. It removes the existence of humans in physical space, and takes them into the virtual realm of social networking websites - of the facebook and the twitter.

The goal is sincere - to eliminate error and to be more and more foolproof. But this is exactly my critique of efficiency.

In their humble goal of being as accurate as the machine, a developed country like the US re configures social space. I celebrated this one day of chance encounters in the US today - where I felt human - meeting people on the street, bumping into them in unexpected ways and deciding to meet without prior planning. The machined world takes away the joys of these momentary exchanges which give you pleasures that stay with you for a long time.

To me, it is almost strange how the first world countries drive aspirations of the developing world to become like them. We (India and such other countries) are at a special, beneficial position where we can see the counter effect modernism has had on the social life of places like here. In such scenario, how does one channel technology to "empower" people, yet preserve a vital space that maintains physical real-time communication? And what does this "empowerment" hold anyway? We have seen in the above examples how technology only expands the existing gaps between humans and their spaces. So what does technological progress behold for us? These are large questions, but I wonder if developed countries themselves would address them in smarter, more human ways. And by human, I mean the human, that belongs to this mortal world.

The golden ray of hope.
New Haven. 13th Sept, 2013. 7 pm.

(this post is unedited, and may build up to more stories and anecdotes over time)
this story can also be found at the YaleStories blog here.

Which Indian architect inspires you the most?

As much as I was excited to see this video prepared by students over YouTube, which I accidentally discovered, I was equally disappointed. The video documents opinions of students of architecture in India about who they believe is the most inspiring Indian architect.

Although the interviewer brings in a fresh energy in asking the question, pretty much like the anchors hosting any reality show on television (energetic, smiling, with forceful body movements, projecting themselves on the screen), the respondents seem to be weary of the weather, tired by the heat and humidity and the complete opposite of the anchor!

The question is simple: "Which Indian architect inspires you the most?" the interviewer stresses, "Indian Architect" - she wants to say - "See how innovative and significant my question is, have you thought about it ever?"

Respondents in the video have all kinds of looks on their faces - serious, intellectual, thoughtful and burdened by the assumed enormity of the question, rather the assumed responsibility of their answers to the question! One sees all kinds of expressions - Looking up in the air, thinking, eyes rolling in vague space, which affirm that their answer is measured, thought out and a lot of evaluation has gone in the mind before the name comes out.

Some answers are candid and honest. Some try to give text bookish justifications about how their responses are relevant. There are others who do not even take the effort of taking the same name again, whose mind speak - "I believe what the earlier one says must be right, although, thankyou for asking me!" There are others subtones - "Is it okay if I say Charles Correa?" and yet another is "Is it okay if I say Charles Correa again?"; or "I am sorry, but it IS Charles Correa..."

Some are funnier - the ones that almost rhetorically ask: "Do you think I am going to answer any thing else except Charles Correa?" or "Do you know any one else except Charles Correa?" Until this response (1:30), where the interviewer was almost feeding words to others, now she herself begins to believe that the answers have to be Charles Correa!

The other extremes are - "Indian? You think there are 'architects' in India?" which goes on to imply, "that's why we are not even taught about them, no?" and further, with all boldness, her smile (1:40) asks - "You silly interviewer, have you even heard of Zaha Hadid or Norman Forter's name - they are called architects, and they are not Indian." The best undertone (1:58) is "No comments, redefine your question."

Suddenly around 2.10, you hear in the background - "anything, anything" - and the immediate interviewer's answer is almost confessinal - "Okay, you want to hear something other than Charles Correa, I like Laurie Baker! Does that add some variety to your interview?"

Take a look:

Let me browse my list!

This is a really important question for the future of the country

It's going to be only Charles Correa. Why didn't you ask ME before?

Let me take you on an international tour

You are asking the wrong question!

***

I saw this about 5 times, and it was as hilarious as Kolaveri Di. Seriously.

Nevertheless, the question is serious. I sincerely hope that students merely expose themselves to more 'Indian' names.

Leads:

Concise History of Modern Architecture In India

by Jon Lang

Building beyond borders: Story of contemporary Indian architecture (India, the land and the people)

by Satish Grover

and so on!

When old memories erupt

When I see films that I was first exposed to as a kid, I realize their potency and value much intrinsically that I ever did. A lot of films that used to be screened on Doordarshan were perhaps some of the best that Indian cinema has produced; or perhaps something that was considered to be of utmost importance to be screened on 'national television'. I am referring to films like Masoom (Shekhar Kapur), Umrao Jaan (Muzaffar Ali), Jaane Bhi do Yaaron (Kundan Shah), Rudali  (Kalpana Lajmi) and so on, that used to be frequently aired on Doordarshan. Songs of these films erupt like sediments of memory, once in a while. Some remains that were impressioned in my young mind when perhaps we didnot even understand the films, their meanings, or their lyrics. But the tunes remained.

I remember often asking my parents, about the point of the above films. They tried to explain, but could seldom express. I wouldn't understand, or sometimes would feel how pointless of those people to make a film without any conclusive end! But as one grows older, one collects life. Age brings you to so many crossroads where you make choices unaware of what results they will fetch you. Choices made not only by you, but even others for you. Of you have no control over so many aspects of this ambiguous journey.

Today when I listen to songs that I memorized as tunes, the once meaningless words take form. It is then, when my childhood reorients. One realizes what the young mind was trying to grasp - something that even the film makers struggled to portray. Those difficulties of being human. Lumps of ambiguities. Never resolvable. I listen to one particular song over and over again, from Umrao Jaan - 'Yeh, kya jagah hai doston...' It has given me new questions, as well as opened me up to new answers every time I have pursued it seriously. It still leaves me questioning - the same feeling you get when standing at the edge of the cliff - where mind is tensioned equally between the ground and the sky. Where you know that the feeling of a free fall will be absolutely great, but it may cost you your life. I could describe that song multiple times, still finding myself with a question.

Sometimes I find myself fortunate to have been systematically exposed to a rich variety of cinema throught he controlled channel of Doordarshan. My exposure during the 1990s was limited to two channels over the television inspite of the economic liberalization that facilitated the introduction of an array of other private channels - another phenomena that affected me later in ways quite different - to which I tend to react today through  my work. However, had it not been for this, my focus would have diluted.

Perhaps it works best when one is able to transcend their lives into their works. There is surely space for meaning to be created around it by a huge mass of people, sooner or later.

Revert to Yalestories

I have been busy writing over my Yale blog so you might find material to read there! I often get confused about what material to put where, but I decided that the trajectory of my experiences particular to USA should be maintained in a single blog. I would rather use this one more to record personal thoughts. I have some to put down, but they are not developed enough in the  mind to be verbalized.

Meanwhile, I must request the readers to read up Dagagiri at Yale.

Life Update

In the past few days, I have had a lot of conversations and I have learnt a lot. Although much of it evaporates from my head, but generally I hear a lot.

My temporary roommate Prashant gives me a lot of information on Indian politics and he has charged me to understand the entire scenario of the political issues at the moment. At the same time, I am beginning to understand the structure of Indian politics at a very basic level. It will still take me enough time to give informed opinion on any of the political conundrum happening in India. The recent Modi-congress tussle is giving me an opportunity to get into some more political history and their linkages with the current issues. I generally feel concerned about the political scenario now. I make a fool out of myself when I talk to Prashant about all the topics since he has facts on his fingers while I am a man of ideas...so I always voluntarily give up.

Perhaps the concern comes with time and age. In addition, perspectives change when one starts earning, and becoming financially independent in life. Economics changes the way in which we live and conduct our lives. It makes us more sensitive to politics, since you know that you are contributing to the overall governance by paying, if not by real help.

I am fortunate enough to meet so many people here who are motivated, energetic. From here, one sees so many possibilities to do things - rather so many things have been implemented here. But Prashant always says - that you are able to see so many things from here because your basic needs (mool-bhoot suvidhaayein) are fulfilled here, you dont need to think about them, and hence you can concentrate on other larger things.

It's almost time to leave New York in 2 weeks and I am partly excited and partly sad to get back to New Haven and leave back New York respectively. While New York made life mechanical in very few days, it always gave fresh outlets to venture out to satisfy my curiosity. New Haven on the other hand, has quietitude, tangibility. Of how much ever you explore New York, it is less. There is so much to still see - I gave up by the 3rd week itself. But each facet of this city has its own charm. There is so much to experience. A series of writings on New York are due. I have built them up thematically in my head. May be I will use the quietness of New Haven to elaborate them out.

I spent my entire summer thinking about Mumbai. Quite literally longing for it. Reminding myself that it will be a year away from home and thinking about how much it must have changed, people must have changed and things must have progressed. At the same time, I feel nothing much of anything must have happened. Although talking to friends back home has been reassuring. And it seems that everyone is in a state as unstable as me. So we end up giving and drawing some strengths from each other. Don't know how would one get a grip of situation once back?

And such has been the past one and a half month. Narratives of travels were written in the head; caught up with friends in the geography of New York, still remembering Mumbai...And yes, missed watching the senseless TV serials that fill up the empty space in the head with non-sense - So important to engage in it. Especially when you are in a city and you don't grasp the city culture which is so immensely informed by media. Because it is only this morning I thought - how long does it take for any thing to become / finally be accepted as "culture"?

Translation

Lyrics: Late Suresh Bhat
Singer: Asha Bhosale
Movie: Aawaz Chaandanyache - I
(original marathi)

केव्हा तरी पहाटे उलटून रात्र गेली
मिटले चुकून डोळे हरवून रात्र गेली

कळले मला न केव्हा सुटली मिठी जराशी
कळले मला न केव्हा निसटून रात्र गेली

सांगू तरी कसे मी वय कोवळे उन्हाचे ?
उसवून श्वास माझा फसवून रात्र गेली !

उरले उरात काही आवाज चांदण्यांचे .....
आकाश तारकांचे, उचलून रात्र गेली!

स्मरल्या मला न तेव्हा माझ्याच गीतपंक्ती
मग ओळ शेवटाची सुचवून रात्र गेली !

आता कुशीत नाही ती चंद्रकोर माझी .....
( हलकेच कूस माझी बदलून रात्र गेली )

अजुनी सुगंध येई दुलईस मोगऱ्याचा .....
गजरा कसा फुलांचा विसरुन रात्र गेली ?

--  

kevha tari pahate - 2
ulatun ratr geli
mitale chukun dole
mitale mitale mitale chukun dole
haravun rat geli
kevha taree pahate - 2

sangu taree kase mee, way kovle unhache - 2
usavun shwas maza - 2
fasavun rat geli, kevha taree pahate - 2

kalale mala na kevha, sutli mithi jarashi
kalale mala na kevha, nisatoona raat geli
kevha tari pahate 

urale urat kahi, awaz chandanyache - 2
akash tarakanche, uchalun rat geli - 2
kevha taree pahate

smaralya mala na tevha, majhyach geet panktee - 2
mag ol shevatachi - 2
suchavun rat geli,kevha taree pahate - 4

-- 

Sometime at the dawn, the night flipped and went by

(I had) closed my eyes by mistake, by sheer mistake

and i lost the whole night

sometime by the morning....

how do I even say, how old is this soft sunlight?

making me restless; fooled me the night

sometime in the morning

I didn't realize when, the embrace loosened slightly

and I didn't realize when the night slipped by

sometime at dawn ...

left in the heart, was some voice of the moonlight

a sky filled with stars, lifted away by the night

sometime in the morning ...

at that time it didnt strike, the lines of my poem

then the final line; prompted and left, the night

...sometime in the morning...

version: Anuj Daga

Translation

Song Title: Aankhon Ki Gustakhiyan
Music Director: Ismail Darbar
Lyrics: Sameer
Singer(s): Kumar Sanu, Kavita Krishnamurthy
Movie: Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam (1999)
Director: Sanjay Leela Bhansali

Aankhon ki
Gustakhiyan.. maaf hon
O aankhon ki
Gustakhiyan... maaf hon
Ek tuk tumhein dekhti hain
Jo baat kehna chaahe zubaan
Tumse vo ye kehti hain

Aankhon ki
Sharmohaya... maaf ho
Tumhein dekhke jhukti hain
Uthi aankhein jo baat na keh sakin
Jhuki aankhein wo.. Kehti hain
Aankhon ki
Gustakhiyan... maaf hoon

Kaajal ka ek til tumhare labhon pe laga loon
Haan chanda aur suraj ki nazron se tumko bacha loon
Oh palkhon ki chilman mein aao main tumko chhupa loon
Khayaalon ki
Ye shokhiyaan… Maaf hon

Har dam tumhein sochti hain
Jab hosh mein hota hai jahan
Madhosh ye krti hain
Aankhon ki sharmohaya
Maaf ho

Ye zindagi aapki hi amaanat rahegi 
Dil mein sada aapki hi mohabbat rahegi 
In saanson ko aapki hi zaroorat rahegi
Haan is dil ki
Naadaniyaan maaf hon

Ye mere kahan sunti hain
Ye pal pal jo hote hain bepal sanam
Toh sapne naye bunti hain
Aankhon ki
Aankhon ki
Gustakhiyan... Maaf hon
Sharmohaya... Maaf ho

---

Let the (playful) mischief of these eyes be forgiven
They keep staring constantly at you...
And that what the lips wants to utter,
These eyes convey exactly the same...

Of these eyes, the shyness, be forgiven!
They hide themselves on seeing you
that which the raised eyelids couldn't express,
the half-closed ones leak out.

Let me put a black spot on your lips
To save you from the eyes of the moon and the sun
Come, let me hide you behind the screens of my eyelids
Of these thoughts, the vividness, be forgiven!

They think of you with every breath...
When I am in my stream of consciousness
They make the world blurred
Of these eyes, let the playful mischief, be forgiven!

This life shall remain, a treasure only of you
In this heart, forever shall remain, love only of you
These skipped moments of breaths shall always need you
Of this heart, let the innocence be forgiven

Where does it listen to me?
In each moment that gets uncontrollable
It weaves a new fantasy

Of these eyes, let the playful mischief, be forgiven
The shyness, be forgiven.

Anuj Daga

An attempt to converse

on Indian politics

(certain chunks of this chat are removed)

---

Me

what modi debate you are are doing?

Xyz

listen his thobaad is everywhere

i want to puncture it

and all this middle class development morality

is fuelling his rise to pmship

ill be so ashamed if he becomes pm

Me

what is wrong in the middleclass development morality_

Xyz

its like citispace

doesn’t give a fuck about anything else but itself

Me

how is the situation any better now

'better' for the lack of a better word

may be - different

no basically i am just trying to understand

i am too bad at politics anyway

and i think its high time i educated myself

so asking...

Xyz

i dont care if it gets better

i have a moral problem with fascist hindu politics getting the upper hand

i would be ashamed of a country in which the majority voted for that

and believed in that

Me

u think hindu is being linked to some kind of developmental idea?

i dont think modi ever brings 'hindu' in his speeches - atleast the ones i have seen

Xyz

nope

i think being hindu is being linked to

being indian

well you should see the billboards all over the city

claiming that he is a hindu nationalist

he did an interview on a tv channel also which got facebooked a lot by his fans who lauded his "guts" at saying that

Me

but what happened to the whole debate on corruption?

accountability?

and blah

Xyz

i find all that very annoying

Me

i mean modi's speeches seem pretty rational

Xyz

yes of course

especially when he is talking about muslims

Me

:P

Xyz

luckily i am not a court of law

i don’t have to believe he is innocent because no one could prove that he was not involved in the massacre of muslims

the inventions of muslims as a race

as number one enemy

to rouse stupid chauvanistic sentiment

Me

yeah - that is a bit scary to think of

Xyz

the development - just look at sabarmati- bimals project

cited as a showpiece project

which is a bullshit project

lapped up by architects urban designers as a visionary project

which takes the water from the sardar sarovar to make a naturally perennial river into a waterfront for real estate development

that doesnt allow farmers on the edge to draw water from it even

Me

hmm - i didnt know about htat

but then, what is development after all?

and do we even need development?

Xyz

that is the best question

Me

because it is always going to be political

Me

it involves money and resources and big people and will

Xyz

this development rhetoric completely ignores all the other infill-healing type things we need

small things

Me

you think development is an induced desire?

or it is an acquired one?

Xyz

i think its one of your blindness things

same idea

what do you think

Me

well, i would like for everyone to have some basic infrastructure

i feel horrible when i read about lakhs of crores of rupees pocketed by some greedy idiots

Xyz

problem is the image of development

is not skywalks- sardar sarovar

etc

Xyz

there are so many statistics to prove all gujrat development is also a huge pr game

where bihar and other states do well on other indexes

Xyz

he is a chauvinistic hindutva promoter

what will happen to us as a nation

Xyz

the sabarmati project is one of the sickest projects ever

but people would call it development

please

i am an atheist

i can tolerate someone being religious

but to say India is a Hindu nation is disgustingly chauvinistic

and what is this hundutva that the bjp promotes

what will be the message to muslims

Xyz

and you have to see the new billboards all over the city

you havent heard him talk about muslims and family planning

or relief camps?

do a search for huindu nationalist

the problem is that all hindus cannot see that their claim to the nations identity can be very othering

that scares me

Me

othering to non-hindus?

Xyz

of course

Xyz

i really believe he is a murderer of muslims

if you hear the stories of what happened at cept

and the terror of it

and his smugness just angers me

Me

any record?

Xyz

everywhere

ask *** how he hid and trembled

ask *** how he was afraid to move to ahmedabad after he married a hindu girl

Me

hmm - that scares me

Xyz

it scares me too

and i love how all my hindu chauvinist friends who argue rationality can brand muslims as a race belive the constructed history of difference and conquest

can believe in bloated images of development and cannot see what muslims will feel

if we all put our votes to vote in a bigot

what it means to vote for a fascist

because we want a "clean slate"

STATE

sorry

like hitler

india will rise

under a fascist

kind of idea

Me

you think history like such repeats?

or would it if modi came?

Xyz

if modi came to power it would prove that we think of ourselves a a hindu state

and that is a crime

when the same people cry about islamic states

Me

but thats too metaphorical to claim

Xyz

no its not

it is the first thing

the development argument is just eyewash

Me

would hinduism intensify if modi came to power

Xyz

no it would just get its justification-

Me

ah i see - you mean to say his agenda is to "clean" the sate?

state*

his underlying agenda that is

Xyz

all his claims are like his pr agency's claim that he went and rescued 15000 pilgrims in a day

hilarious

Me

why didnt other states help then?

Xyz

please

is this an interstate competition?

Me

exactly - its not a competition

its about just caring for a single cause

why were resources not pooled togehter?

Xyz

so what

Me

well i feel not coming together in times of crisis is more political

more petty

was that not a massacre?

Xyz

we can go on about other parties and how states and how bad they are or were

no it was not a massacre

Me

no i am just trying to take a current example

Xyz

please do Not compare it to what happened in Gujarat

its not so trivial

Me

i thought it was pretty logical for all states to come together in this crisis

Xyz

the massacre happened at several levels

the entire development argument that states and the centre make are weird

Me

if massacre leads to death of people as an end result, then pretty much

Xyz

no

murder

and negligence are two entirely different things

states may not know better

and states may know better

Me

when you know people are dying and still not save them, it is almost as good as that

Xyz

the displacements of the sabarmati no one talks about in the name of development

Me

ah - is the pain from death by negligence different from that of murder

Xyz

just as no one talks about the hydel projects in uttarakhand

yes it is

if someone comes after you maliciously

to kill your kin

to kill, you

because of your religion

it is much more painful

it causes a historic scar

that your ineptitude to save people

Me

hmm

worthwhile thinking

Xyz

chl anyways

i sleep now

Me

hehe

Xyz

lock up the grills 

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I request my co-chatter to contact me in case one finds this objectionable.
The above is only a record for the fact that - I learnt.

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