Drinks

I recently decided to educate myself on the various kinds of alcoholic drinks. So I asked one of my German colleagues to tell me about the various drinks, and also how they are served. I realized that all these drinks are made out of some foods which we normally eat. Then I wondered why their products require permissions to consume. On the other hand, why are they considered so ‘prohibitive’ in the traditional Indian family concept? Of course, the consumption of alcohol has adverse effects. So we will not get into the whole ‘ethical family’ business. But the study was nice. I wish if someone presented this to me earlier in the following way:

Concepts

How does one understand concepts? This mail is to be read in the context of the “new mail”. I was reading the entries for the Indira Gandhi National Centre for Performing Arts (or something), which was an open competition for architects throughout the world. There were architects competing from all the world. The winning entry was an excellently explained one. Amongst the others, one which particularly stuck in my mind was Anil Laul’s. His concept for the entire campus was that of the atoms and molecules. How the atoms and molecules are bonded to each other. And in the end, the entire building looks like carbon atoms – hexagonal volumes one over the other. The entire explanation also was like a chemistry text book.

Now is that called a concept?

“My concept comes from the waves of the sea”…and the building will become a wave of the ocean – physically – and then there will be slabs – as horizontal as possible. It’s just the skin that personifies the wave.

“Ripples” – and the entire plan will be concentric circles…

Look at Hafeez’s concept for the Osho Ashram, Pune – he himself rubbishes it by saying that it is utter nonsense. He said in his lecture that I attended: “I used the pyramid because it is the most stable form. I cladded it with black stone because black is the absence of any colour. Osho replied, ‘I like it’” and he puts together forms frivolously in his other works. He claims to bring architects in the forefront by publicizing them.

So students think that concepts are images. Images are impressions. Impressions are like signs that can be made on signboards. One of my colleagues was doing a War memorial for his thesis. His ‘concept’ was the explosion of a bomb. So his building looked like how we draw the explosion of bombs in cartoon strips. A poky three dimensional star. That becomes his “war memorial” –it has nothing to do with the phenomenon of war, neither the people involved, or the reasons.

I wonder still, what is a concept. Concepts can be held in hands it seems. The in orbit mall in malad, has a planetary dome on it (unfortunately which no one can see from outside) and then today, I see that there is a building call “something orbit” with a dome on the top at the place of the water tank. These people don’t even know what an orbit is!

It’s something like shaping the first birthday cake of a child in the shape of 1. Iconography – completely.

In interiors, the colours of the walls become concepts. So concepts are matching tiles, and wash basins. “The concept here is 3 walls in blue and the floor in white…” used to say my earlier employer. In interiors, concepts are even more bastardized. For fashion designers, colours and patterns are concepts. A new concept would be to use green with golden, for instance.

My students have similar concepts. They would say that “the white represents good part of the life and the black part is bad.” Time in space becomes a watch with personified hands. Its normal perhaps for students in first year, at least, when they are learning the difficult process of abstraction. But when architects and those too famous ones project themselves like that, it troublesome. Students in fourth year come and say “I wanted to make this space interactive”: and the immediate design is an amphi theatre or benches facing each other.

So the discourse of concept is difficult. We now a days do not use the word. Its pejorative to use it. We as faculty do not ask students to make concept sheets. They do some silly iconographic stuff by making signs and symbols for familiar objects rather than trying to dissect what it means to them. So a building for children will be a play ground, a school necessarily has to have bright coloured walls, parks have to have floral edges and all possible combinations of pavings, urban design is nothing more than street furniture (literally).

And after all that, they still have to criticize the new sky walks. The poor yellow worms crawling over the city.


Concepts of Buildings against the Jantar Mantar in Delhi

Repositories for the little prince

the above project was just a fluke! a better word would be intuitive!!


she was working on the concept of how a flower opens up


her site was in the brain on her landscape

A new mail

I have been thinking on writing about my teaching at KRV and AOA since some time now. The comparison is unavoidable, but I will try and resist that temptation. I primarily want to concentrate on the methodologies and my difficulties and interests with students versus my failures and explanations for those failures given by others on discussion. There is also an inevitable comparison of the students with my own self as a student.

Starting with academy of architecture, we tried to do a workshop this time, without dushyant this time. Unfortunately none of us had the professionalism or time to dedicate to or execute the workshop. We read “The Little Prince” and expected the students to come up with installations of ideas that fascinated them from the book.

The Council has now allowed students from all backgrounds (commerce, arts and science) to pursue an architecture course. I do question the relevance of this step. However, the kind of students we are getting today are so stereotypical, that it seems that the future of the course is going to be reduced to a purely instructional type. The intake of students has been increased to double. However, let’s not get into all that, the problem I face is with students not willing to question their own selves. At least we did not have any one to push us to questioning, but here, students are very formulaic – draw a line, cut the paper, size of font, format like this : all needs to be told. I remember that we adopted such things just from exhibitions of our seniors’ work. Where there are some students over-prepared on a presentation day, where they prepare even their speech (like how you do in Oscars!) there are others who don’t feel the need to prepare.

Ideas are thrown at them and I don’t understand that if they are in a creative course, can’t they understand what to pick for themselves. Even if they can’t, they can at least follow what is being said (be instructional). I do not like students who are insincere. Students in academy are skillful, but their mental activity is less, or very low. To reflect on the faculty team, we are far too many heads than hands. We need a single head, who co ordinates the programme and supporting staff, who are in resonance.

This is the stronghold of KRV. Rupali is the head – thinking and coordination. We support her in her decisions. The final call is hers. She is also extremely capable – theoretically. On the other hand, the bunch of faculty (us) under her are all of same age group and connect very well. However, the first programme was extremely abstract. We had asked students to bring their heirloom (in the form of stories, objects, ideas, memories, etc.) which they lose in the course of time. The project was the reconstruction of the heirloom through their attributes.

Now, the students’ outlook was similar. However, since the project was a lot more personal, many of them spoke naturally. The subject was “I” and “my” association. Perhaps that helped. Further, the theoretical discussions of the students with their faculties helped in breaking the norms. What was difficult was the construction of the heirloom in to a physical object through narratives. Everyone in the end was somehow was fed with an idea. There were some original too. However, later on they were well received by the jury. But my problem was that many students did not understand what they had done. I don’t consider this as healthy.

At academy, we were dealing with the idea of a Repository for “The little Prince”. Now little prince is a lovely book. It asks large questions in simple ways. But for the students, it was just a story book. The students in academy were almost convinced that readings have no relevance to forms. They already had a notion that architecture means designing fancy buildings. As a teacher, we can’t even say no to this fact. But it is extremely difficult to explain students that buildings can be read. That they have meanings which can be constructed. These meanings also help in defining the form. How do you convey this? I do understand that it does not happen in just a single project. It takes time – perhaps the entire course to understand that architecture is more than a building. But I am worried for academites because the faculty in the further years does not think this way.

On the other hand, I thought that perhaps students are not old enough in their experience of life to understand the complexities of little prince. But that was the easiest we could choose. How does one otherwise inculcate the habit of familiarizing students the relationship between culture, architecture and social studies? It is necessary to do it in first year. My worry at academy is that no one else will do that in the later years. Their idea of cultural space is just an art gallery, an artist’s village and a museum of modern art – and they would not even look at who are the most prominent, or contemporary artists in the country.

At KRV, the faculty is already interdisciplinary. Hence they are exposed to different media directly from the first year. However, their degree of articulating physical form, I felt was very low. Everyone manage to find their niche as an practitioner at KRV. Be it research, film, interior, architecture or storytelling. The paradox is that Academy actually has all such different departments, but there is nothing happening between them. Adarkar wants to convert Academy into a digital environment (without any context). He feels that we can make smarter buildings in the coming 50 years if we are equipped with digital technologies. For a matter of fact, there are not even attempts to create a website for Academy as a step towards this mission. I appreciate Adarkar’s vision, but I can’t reason out for myself, that being a social activist, how he can overlook more important issues surrounding the city.

There is too much theory into KRV. Sometimes, it feels unnecessary. But it manages to produce some interesting concepts. KRV is a closed circuit, while Academy is an open one. Anyone with a strong thought can almost rule academy right now. It is headless. The people have ancient thoughts, while KRV is so fresh. Experience is not helping somehow. It needs fresh talent.

Within this pool of thought, there are things that i will discuss in my subsequent mails, with specific examples.

studios!

Mass producing Venturi's house! (KRV first yr)


Prakriti at her new work place: Charles Correa Associates

New phone....new pics

Walking on the Edge


The Dream-land


I am dead


Arched surfaces


The batch of 80 at KRVIA

Hair Dressing Dilemma

It was long ago that my father stopped waking us (me and my brother) up in the early morning. The discipline of getting up in the morning by 7:30 perhaps could not be rationalized with our age. Perhaps he understood that he is forcing it upon us. And therefore, now he allows us to sleep for long morning hours.

Earlier, my father would also get impatient if our hair was not combed immediately after bath. However, we realized that the hair should be allowed to dry a bit, such that the hair oil and water do not react to attract more dust. So now, sometimes, when we are at home, combing hair become an afternoon activity! Perhaps this is deteriorating the quality of setting of my hair.

I realized today that my hair wasn’t setting properly. I recently had a hair cut. My cousin had already commented on the hair cut classifying it as ‘improper’. Initially I tried applying water, more water and even oil…but the hair would not set! so I decided to go to the hair dresser and complain. And I did. I complained with confidence. Ofcourse he got agitated, and gave me a free trimming again!

But I realized today the dynamics of hair dressing. I always believed that our hair in the top of the head must not fall on the forehead! But the salon educated me that this frontal hair will always fall on the forehead, that too if very short! I then wondered that what he said should be right – the head is hemispherical in shape and each hair on the head is acted upon by gravity in a different manner! So that makes the hair dresser’s job so complex – for a person like me who demands that no hair on my head should stand out like the tail of a hen!

I know I have made the explanation very scientific, but it is so. Atleast I understood how the job of the hair cutter becomes complex (though I always believed that it was, today I understood the nature of his complexity!).
Having said the above, I am planning to change my hair dresser from the coming turn…this one always leaves me disappointed!

In difficult times...

Something that expresses the circumstances at this moment in my life perfectly...




image courtsey: Marianna Hillmer

A brief update of Life

The past 3 weeks have been so busy that i have had no time to even think what i have been doing. Well, I don t remember where I should start, but there are 3 prime things that I can categorize my activities under:

1. Academics
2. Applications
3. The Cultural Spaces project

Since it was the time to break during diwali, a lot of portion had to be completed. It was the time when I had to prepare the graphics lecture – deliver for 3 hours. On the other hand, juries at Kamla Raheja and Academy…there was so much of thinking activity happening. Along with this was the fellowship, which I have not even got a chance to think about. There was an extreme pressure to be considerate towards students and not let one frustration pour over another.

On the other hand, I gave my GRE and then later TOEFL – and god knows how I managed both! Luckily, it was a weekend and a Dassera holiday before my GRE exam and I got 2 whole days to study. This was the peak of preparation for the Cultural Spaces project. I am grateful to my boss at the MMB to allow me a holiday on the day of my exam. The GRE experience could be elaborated in another blog, and I do not have the time to do that, but all I can say right now is that I can’t understand why I got such less marks even when I felt that the paper was easy. How is one to understand or comprehend such a feeling? My score was just 1140 and it still scares me while putting my applications. On the other hand, I literally had no time to prepare for TOEFL. I just took a CD one day prior to my exams from a friend, and had to seriously catch up on sleep the day before the exam. I went home straight from college and slept for a good 4 hours. I then got up and revised from the computer software. I felt so lazy even practicing those questions that I just familiarized myself with the questions and went back to sleep. The toefl exam was long, extraordinarily long. I felt it was an utter waste of time and resources. Both in GRE and TOEFL, I feel I did well in the Writing sections.

Lastly. the cultural spaces project was a roller coaster. It started with elaborate preparations in Mumbai before going – making lists, confirming schedules, pick ups and drop-offs…plethora of silly managerial things…However, after about 20 years, I made a journey through the flight again. The main meeting was to be held in Delhi and we were accommodated at the Taj Palace. This was my first stay at a fivestar hotel… I made some blunders too – by eating from the store…and paid a bomb – but that was just a case of misunderstanding by me. Anyway, I don’t want to elaborate on that enough. We travelled in Delhi for a day and I met a lot of people – considered to be great names in the research and criticism field. the meeting was very formal, which was not intended to be so. The food at Delhi was only German and Thai all the time, which was partly the reason of munching at the Taj (oh! I still feel the pinch on my pocket!). Rupali, Matthias and myself came back a day earlier to start the Mapping workshop at Kamla Raheja…I never got a chance to participate in the workshop, but the next day, I took Matthias for a South Mumbai Darshan. I think I made him mad after a lot of walking and roaming. But I think now I know about him a lot more than anyone else in the international expert team. Matthias was the sweetest of all in the group! As the days went by, the experts started making shifts in their schedules and then started the rounds of changes, rescheduling and re informing. I could hardly concentrate on all that, since I was busy with ,my TOEFL, colleges and also I was least interested in the managerial jobs. However, Jayashree did taunt me a couple of times, which I almost ignored, until the last day. On 17th, when the trip was supposed to end, Jayashree again wanted to tell me things, but I also resisted to some extent. Later, I spoke to Marla and things were fine.
Diwali was good – I invited Robert and Bindi home for the laxmi poojan. Otherwise the Diwali was a quite affair…it gave a much needed rest time and I have got back at my applications and paperwork…

Have to compile a portfolio, resume, SOP, transcripts, admission forms, recommendations….a lot of stuff to be done…so no breathing time yet…hope to see positive signs in future!

:( :) :/ :&

It is quite unfortunate, that though there have been such important and interesting twists in life, i have gotten time to write this blog at a time when i am extremely put off.

However, I am going to generalize this phenomenon and blur the specifics such that my post is politically correct. It is now apparent to me that only donkey work will pay you well. This work is mechanical and involves a lot of ‘running around’. My theory is that since there are very few people who can do such running around well, they get paid very well. That is I guess, the job of Event Organizers is based on such a premise. Such people have a great network, and they show it off brilliantly. All they do is find specialists and supply them to those needed.

On the other hand, it is completely absurd to be a ‘jack of all trades’ in the contemporary modern world. The professional world is craving for more and more specialization. One day will come when there will be specialists who will tell you how to tie the lace of your shoe or wipe your ass hole after shitting! In this race, the Germans will be in the forefront, I guess.

anyway, I am SICK OF BEING FORMAL…

and I want to stop writing this shit!!!!

finally BUSY

suddenly everthing seems to come together to me:

RIBA submission
KRV fellowship
KRV teaching
AOA teaching
MMB flignt co ordination
GRE preparations
TOEFL registration

Hush....

timetables are not working to the fullest

still...architecture teaches to endure pressures...
i feel like a sugarcane between the two cylinders...
still to come is:

TOEFL preps and exams
Portfolio - design, print, despatch
applications
paper work

waah!
its all set till the next mid year it seems!

The Art of Giving

A gift is a difficult thing to comprehend. One has to select something for the other, relying on his taste. The gift always lies on the vulnerable edge of liking or disliking. Further, when gift has a monetary value, it falls under the perview of functionality and usability. Then there is a usable and a useless object. There are many times when gifts circulate. They keep on getting passed from one hand to the other as gifts. I was wondering if gifts ever become usable and assume a part of our everyday lives. It is then when a gift is assumed to be worth. But in that case, the gift becomes ephemeral. Then it continues to live on in memories once the physicality of it is gone, or has become redundant.

Today, children have become so sensitive about gifts. Right from their childhood, they are forced into the custom of distributing and accepting gifts. The gift has become an object to be learnt as a part of the curriculum. An then is to be learnt the art of giving. I wonder if the concept of gift was so strong in early ages. In the present time, children are so possessive and sensitive about receiving gifts. I use ‘receive‘ because now-a-days, you receive a gift even when you give a gift – the ‘return’ gift.

Children today even question the host if they do not receive a return gift. It was never so atleast in our childhood. Today it has also become a matter of lifestyle and class. My nephews studying in reasonably good schools receive ‘Birthday invitation cards’. I always thought that personal invitation cards are only for marriages. Suddenly casual things have become so formal – customary.

When I was small, I used to prepare greeting cards. My mother never used to give me enough money to buy a printed archies card. So the only option was to make one. This was beneficial on two accounts – it fostered my creativity and saved money. Many a times, I still used to stand at card galleries, stealing concepts to make cards. I used to maintain a book in which I used to write what could comprise the matter inside a card. These included rhymes, poems, anecdotes, sayings, and all sorts of things to write.

But that was not all. To make a card, one would require a lot many things. Sketch pens, crayons, coloured paper, stickers and later on sparkles, fancy scissors which could cut zig zag – I still have all of them. I would be always on the look out for good cartoons, flowers and funny figures in magazines, news papers, note book covers…then slowly, patiently cutting them by their outlines. I think that involved so much of the self. It too involved time – in finally arranging stuff to prepare the greeting card. To think what to write. Even if on a rare occasion, a card was purchased, time would be dedicated in carefully and thoughtfully decorating it…and then the envelope, because envelope is the first thing one sees.

Cards are gone. People do not appreciate cards. I have cards for about 10 of my birthdays still preserved. When i see those, all memories come back to me. It is almost nostalgic. The best part was that One could post cards via the mail too. One would wait on the other hand, to receive a card on the birthday, and it would involve the memories of the person too.

As we grow up and start earning, we realize that we can spend now. But instead of buying a card, we look for ‘value of money’ and rather prefer a usable object than a card. This object is so mean – it vests the power of ‘liking’ in itself. It brings jealousy, dissatisfaction and doesnot even have an emotional value. It is not accepted as a gift, but an object. And the moment it reveals itself in the hand, it starts the judgmental cycle. And the person immediately starts to think, ‘will I use it?’

Greeting cards were noble. They atleast took some time and allowed the person to appreciate the effort – either in making or decorating. One always knew it was a memory, not usable, and hence did not go in the other realm of judgment.
A gift is no more a gift. Unfortunately.

Insistence on being certain?

I have let it sink in…may be…

My biggest complaint with Correa was that he claimed to give me the award only because of benefit of doubt. He should not have given the award to me if that was the case. That’s why the status onthe facebook. On the other hand, i wonder if a person like him too feels that ‚teaching‘, ‚writing‘ and criticism are for wanderers. They are ‚some‘ jobs, and not as specific as ‚architecture‘. What i also wondered was that if he too was as narrow minded to think of an architect as a person who would, or rather should ‚build‘. The other argument which would favour him was that if i had gone to him, it better be for an architectural criticism and not for a ,flowery‘ word talk. Agreed. But one can always enjoy the spirit of the subject.

The meet reminded me of the book Haroun and the Sea of Stories, where the protagonist’s father is a story teller. I wonder if story tellers are useless people? Is writing or teaching an abstruse profession? Why do educated people look down upon such fields? It also reminds me, in a bitter way, what George Bernard Shaw said, „Those who can do nothing, teach, those who can not teach, write“. While the shade in which he must have written may be sarcastically poking or legitimizing his own profession, it definitely pricks when others use it in a poky fashion.

What does one do, if one finds his niche at a very late stage in life? In the process of finding ones calling, one may end up involving himself or herself in a completely different course of study. But having completed it, does one become bound to follow it or practice it the rest of his or her life? Does an educated society fail to understand the confusion within a young mind? Can an educated person like Correa not address the confusion of a young mind instead of riduculing it?

Confusion has allowed me only to ask more questions. These questions generate a thirst for answers. Hence i write. I write in order to detail my questions to an extent that they resolve themselves as rhetorics. This endsup in my writings. I like writing. I like teaching because i am able to discuss my confusion with others. Many times, these discussions take artistic forms : architectural manifestations or artistic drawings. Such confusion existed in my thesis too. But is it really bad? Something to feel so worse for? Again i am raising questions, and i guess, most of my sentences end in question marks! Thats not good though, is it?

This constant conflict to take a stand and move on is irritating. Life is not worth it. One misses so many moments in this silly confusion. But may be, it has allowed me to be more sympathetic towards others who are not able to decide and humble towards the smallest of jobs. After all, who knows, i may end my life just as a story teller or a typist!

Meeting Charles Correa

I met Mr. Charles Correa today.

I spent the last night dreaming about him, the last week dreaming about him and the last month trying to reach him. My meeting was timed spaciously – at 11 am.

I left home at nine, and I knew that in Mumbai, 2 hours for travelling too is less. And I was right. I stepped out of home and it started raining, pouring heavily. I had an A2 portfolio, my bag and an umbrella. i was almost fully wet by the time the fifth bus came, as I had to leave the other four – they were full. I cursed Mumbai so much, the people so much! I did not get an auto rickshaw too…I realized that I had to take a ticket too, since my pass allows to travel only till Dadar. I again cursed anticipating the crowd at the ticketing counter.

I got down at the station from the bus and saw the Goregaon local passing in front of my eyes. Needless to guess – the bus stopped at bloody every signal and got stuck in every damn traffic…I cursed the driver of the bus too.

The only credit I could have is the next local (after which there were none, and my boarding the train would be impossible). I waited (rather wasted) 20 minutes to take the 9:56 local. I boarded in praying that it would take me to Charni Road in time. I managed to reach the station 15 minutes in advance of my meeting time and was at CCA exactly at 11 am. (though I was on time, now I feel so hopeless about the city – 2 hours FLAT wasted in travelling!)

I was almost instantly taken to Correa’s cabin. I saw the big man working on his desk…2 minutes later, he welcomed me and told me to take a seat near him. I asked him about his health and he said he is fine. He immediately asked me, “So tell me, what did you want to meet me for.” I said, “I just wanted to discuss my project, because I could not do it earlier.”

I got my sheets and put them on his table. He told me to explain. I said the first sentence about the project and he interrupted, “Yeah I remember, but whom are you building for?” I said, “The blind”. And he said, “Speak clearly, who is the blind – the insensitive or the real blind”. I said it was a metaphor. But he didn’t like it. He immediately said, “We almost gave you the medal on the benefit of doubt. Many of them thought that ‘this guy is just talking about some things’. But you got it only because of benefit of doubt…so tell me, who is blind?”

I said it was the "insensitive".

“You see you are slipping. I would never like to work with you. Because you are not clear. You have to be clear. You are playing with words. You can be a critic, or a poet or write books. But you have to be clear. Otherwise, you will keep doing these all your life and not go anywhere, and do some vague thing. What do you mean by blind. Show me your plan. What did you do? When we saw your plan we did not see any form of auditorium, or seating or any such thing. What are you expecting people to do inside?”

I explained the interpretation of the cinema hall.

“But how big is it? What scale is the drawing at? It seems that you have gone wrong at scale. Its just a drawing you see…? How much is this…” he asked pointing to the distance between two columns.

It has been 3 years now and I had forgotten the measurements. I still tried –
“Sir, the hall is 450 sq m. I am expecting about 50 people inside each hall”
“but how is it that much? (he took a scale). I had to guess…I blurted…the columns are about 8 metres apart. So the hall is about 32 x 20 metres ( I realized that it was wrong), but I had no other option…but to guess…) I told him that for composing the sheet, I had to take a non-architectural scale.

He handed over me the scale and told me to measure it. Now was the catch. While I was measuring, I felt something was wrong. Either I was confused with the triangular scale, or the drawing was wrong. He could make out the apprehension on my face. He asked if I was Dhaval’s friend., and I answered in a positive. He asked me if I wanted Dhaval’s help. I hesitated. He still called Dhaval inside. Dhaval fakely showed his surprise to me as he entered.

Dhaval took the initiative and explained the project. The whole intensity was lost to the question of “how would one make a Cinema for the Blind.” He saw things here and there, made things much clearer, dissected the “blind”. I kept nodding. Dhaval and he were almost having a discussion on my project. I did not get even a chance to speak. But I guess that was ok.

He was not interested in poetry and metaphor, but the physical building. And dhaval was much better at explaining the resolution. The fun of the project. He also pointed out the link in the cinema and the blind. I explained him further. He liked it. He liked the drawings, the sketches. He waited on the ‘experience’ on the link, and explained and questioned it.

While he was making pencil marks on my sheets, he was erasing it too. He did it with “experience” too. Then, while elaborating on experience, I rubbed my hand against the rubber dust he created on the sheet. He must have felt that I did not like him scrubbing on my sheets (which is not true). Later he took out his notepad saying that he would not like to spoil my sheets…

I wondered if he didn’t like my wiping away the rubber dust, or misinterpreted the action into something else…

We later discussed architects like Venturi, Kahn, Ando, Corbusier, Palladio etc. We also discussed buildings like the Rotunda, the Pantheon, etc. He somewhat criticized Venturi. I could have defended. But I kept quiet.

I wanted to ask him many things. but I kept mumb. It was about an hour. At perfect 12:00 he said he had to call it off.

He did not want to discourage me, he said, but wanted me to have more clarity.
I understood that my first impression on him must have been terrible. The rest of the story, I must ask Dhaval…

A day with lots of people...

I had been to Kamla Raheja some days ago and the day was extremely eventful…in the morning, I contacted Ateya and found out that she would be there in KRV that day. As I reached the place, I found Namrata (Kapoor) and Ateya in their auditorium watching Persepolis. Though I did not catch up with the entire movie, I saw some ending portion of it and it was really nice. Ateya and I and also Namrata spoke for some time after the movie when some students came for a review of their work. It was interesting to discuss their work (which was a part of the workshop which Ateya and Namrata were taking). After a long time, I interacted with students. It was refreshing.

We later went up to the staff room (I guess that is what it was) to have lunch. Outside the same, I met Mayuri(Sisodia). I had met him at the Metrologue workshop. She said that she was going off to Bartlett and i gave her Prarthana's contact. She was happy to have it.

At the lunch, I did not have any thing, as I was feeling a bit embarrassed, to be in a place which I don’t think was yet for me…soon, other people started pouring in…Rohan (Shivkumar), Rupali (Gupte), Kaushik (Mukhopadhyay)…all of them…And I was not expecting to see them around…actually I was even more abashed when all of them arrived. We did not speak, but I just remained a passive listener. Later, Hansa (Thapliyal) and Mr. Kamal arrived. For those who don’t know who she is, she is a film maker. I have worked with her in a PUKAR sound editing and video editing workshop. That is primarily how I know her. Otherwise, we have always kept on bumping into each other in seminars, conferences, etc. so she knows me quite well. Also, she stays quite close to my house, but we have never met each other. The thread of this story, I will carry further later…

So Hansa was taking an elective workshop (I guess on film making) at KRVIA with Mr. Kamal , who also seemed to be a film maker. He was an old man, with white hair, twinkling eyes and sweet smile and a curiosity on his face. Soon, Kaushik introduced my thesis subject to him and he was extremely passionate about it. I briefly explained what I intended to do…and he was overjoyed… I must mention here that there are only a few people who understand my thesis idea in a go. Surprisingly, all at KRVIA understand the idea very well. So I was happy. He asked me if the thesis was published anywhere, and I told him about the publication in IA&B. but I also mentioned to him that I would like to personally meet and hand over a copy to him. I overheard him while speaking to Hansa, that he was working on some project for the blind and could gather some clues from my thesis. This was a very different intersection with a film maker and my project and unlike what Ms. Sarita Vijayan (Editor at IA&B) was proposing. She had mentioned to take this idea forward to a film maker and I rejected. I quite liked the present intersection.

Kaushik further mentioned about keeping a mock-presentation of my project at KRVIA. I agreed and also mentioned that I was more excited to see his work. But I like Kaushik because he has always been excited to see my project. Another reason is that he is from one of the finest art institutions in India – Shanti Niketan, and thirdly, he is a Bengali. I have a particular affinity towards Bengalis for the reason that half my native place is in Kolkata, and I generally like their inclination towards art culture and their perpetual ‘awe-‘ accent in any other language. Also, Bengali is a very sweet language (as far as I have heard) and it comes across…

So coming back to the day, I further went and joined Ateya and Namrata in their crit-session upstairs. I was actually hesitating to join them, because I did not want to be a ‘kabab-mein-haddi’ but I just took a seat in their room. I saw students almost dozing off when Namrata and Ateya were addressing, but I am sure they purposely left those students unnoticed. Unfortunately many students donot take interestin theoretical discourses in the present system. This is a problem with the entire country I guess. However, that’s not a problem of the tutors. But how does one flip around the scene? I tried doing it while discussing the next student’s paper. I tweaked two or three small questions into the discussion. Slowly I saw chairs moving, students waking and giggles in the class room. I was happy…but I left for I had to reach for an interview to Max Muller Bhavan. While leaving the place, I met my juniors Aditya (Sawant) and Mayuri (my college) and also saw Sriganesh, whom i didnot want to meet...so i skipped his eyes...

I reached Max Muller Bhavan about 10 minutes late. But that’s ISD and was not minded. At Goethe Institute, Max Muller Bhavan, I met Ms. Jayashree, who was the programme co ordinator over there. She was listening to beautiful music and I entered her room which had a big enough window to capture a patch of green. The corner occupied a small library with sufficient books. On the table on my right was an Apple desktop (was it apple?) but nevertheless, it was a beautiful atmosphere…

We spoke about the institute’s activities and she explained me my possible work profile. Not going deeper into this, I will cut it short and proceed to my meeting with Nihara (Kantak) at IA&B. I collected the latest issue which featured my thesis. I later went up to meet Thomas who has been shifted (actually by choice) to Chemtech from I-Structure. We spoke for some time and since we were in office, we agreed to meet later at the Marine Drive. I left the place to head towards the sea face.

While waiting at the Drive and reading the project brief provided by Ms. Jayashree, I spotted Neha (Parker) and her friend Hitesh. I went ahead and poked her. We went together to Gay Lords. Over there I met Neha’s colleagues and they too were very fascinated after knowing my thesis topic, which Neha had already spoken to them about. Thomas cancelled his meet diplomatically (realizing that I was already occupied). They left and then Dhaval joined in. we had a good discussion on our general ‘larger’ issues of life, when we left Neha in a contemplative mood.

Dhaval, Hitesh and I then left for home…

The only person I missed that day was Sonal (Sunderrajan) – I hope you are reading this sonal…that was the only day in KRVIA I didn’t meet you….

Heading No(w)here...

I would not believe myself being so restive until I started tying out at least 10 mails to different people for keeping myself busy with things. Suddenly I realize that it is so important to have work. I think work gives a background to other things that we do. The reason for the need to spend time in leisure activities is work.

Work has to be monotonous to accommodate and appreciate other activities? Isn’t it? I wonder if it is really true. And I am thinking this because I have no work to do meanwhile except preparation for further studies. I think this is the distraction that prarthana keeps talking about. To give a range of random things that I have been doing, let me mention a few – I have been visiting college frequently for meetings (the smallest of them), spending time in the library, guiding students with their thesis here and there, meeting people he help them take a decision with their studies, writing off mails to faculty at other institutes, contacting people whom I could help with their work, meeting people who are keen in getting some designing stuff done with me, preparing for fellowship research, looking up sites which publish research papers…

All these above were explored not for the sake of money, but for keeping oneself busy. one month of no work is after all, not good for a graduate – according to Indian social setup. It’s very embarrassing to tell others what I have been doing currently. So I end up saying that I am freelancing, or I am involving myself in research, or I am studying for further education. Answering calls at home on week days is like announcing “I am at home, not working”, or sitting at the library means answering the staff and juniors that meanwhile I have nothing to do in life…

Of course, it will change. There are good times and there are bad times. But there are times when you don’t know good or bad. This is one such time, when there is a lot of room to experiment, but there is no motive to do so, no drive or no purpose to involve in various things. Sterile as I say it…it’s going on...and on…and on…

there are things to write...opinions, views...but there is no disposition for the same...and the above is what i end up typing...!

KRVIA Fellowship Proposal

In a recent article on ‘Redefining Architecture’ in a local news paper, Architect Hafeez Contractor points out, “Go to Barcelona and you will be surprised that even a cab driver there is aware of the architects behind the different structures. Here, nobody is even aware of many of us, leave aside acknowledging our work.” Further, he adds that, “The field of architecture is highly neglected in India, and more importance is given to other creative fields. Though Architecture is the father of painting and sculpturing, but it is not recognized…”

The three questions that the above note raises are:
1. How does one ‘define’ architecture for the general masses?
2. Who do we expect to acknowledge our work?
3. What are these “other creative fields” that are given importance if architecture is the mother of all arts?

Simmel explains that “the nineteenth century demanded functional specialization of man and his work” . Further he states that each man identifies himself with these “supplementary activities of all the others” rather than the parent one. The histories of architecture and interior design in the world and India are not separate. In fact, the field of architecture has split up into other fields of ‘design’ post the industrial revolution. Architecture became a profession in India only after its independence, when people did not make themselves conscious about ‘design’. However, one can track a simultaneous growth of interior design and this awakening towards ‘design’ in the public mind.

Therefore, architecture is often perceived as a field where one designs/‘decorates’ interiors. Architecture never got a chance to detail its scope to the general public, who was to recognize and appreciate the production. A field, which was closer to people was interior design. Though earlier, it may have been a luxury of the elite, over the time, it has also become available to this general mass. Infact, all this while, what was closer to the public, who was to acknowledge architecture was local arts and crafts, which was created, produced and used by locals.

The problems which remain with us are whether we must deal with ‘architecture’ and ‘interior design’ as separate or one, and in either of the cases, how they affect the practice and production of space?

Ending abruptly...search for a new beginning

Life’s is a bit tough
If you want to do your own stuff

I realized this today, when I had gone to Indian Architect & Builder, where I was previously working that there have been changes and revisions in the contract document after my final letter that was given at IA&B. Just to reinforce my thought that my resignation has brought in a change…in whatever way, though it may not have responded to the same points and issues I raised, but someone did consider the fact that things have to be defined more precisely.

The following is what I had submitted:

Thanks for giving me an opportunity to be a part of IA&B. it is interesting to observe how meanings of notions too change with perspectives. I am referring here to your comments on “professionalism”. I did not want to part at such unforeseen terms, but I have to share something with you, without any ill feelings towards anyone:

1. Firstly I donot feel that my resignation/conduct has been unprofessional.
My appointment letter clearly states that I am on a CONTRACT and as per
that, i am eligible to leave the company (on whatever reasons) at a notice
of a month, which i was willing to. But on the other hand, the contract also
states that if the company wants to remove me, it has to do so at a notice
of ONE MONTH. I donot know which one of the above must be applicable here,
but my termination today itself is completely incorrect and the decision is
totally "unprofessional".

2. As my appointment letter declares - i have been appointed as a "CONTENT
WRITER". I have been more than upfront in carrying out activities such as
designing, graphics, site execution, supervision, preparing 3D visualizations, transcription and a whole lot of 'undefined' works for the company. Your "verbal" argument about being "multi-tasking" doesnot substantiate the profile as all of the above jobs are functionally specialized fields and technically, the company must have separately accounted for all the above jobs carried out by me apart from "WRITING". According to me, this has been extremely "unprofessional".

3. My salary for the first three months was incorrectly notified by your employee and was only rectified after i pointed out (which otherwise would have been overlooked). Even after complaint, the issue took one and a half month to get sorted. On the other hand, there was no intimation about TDS deductions or any such curtailments at the time of appointment. I have still not received a detailed induction which states the company policies despite of repeated requests to our HR. This i feel should be termed as "unprofessional" behaviour.

4. Listed Holidays, unpaid for and not even readjusted. These are the only set of 10 holidays that employees on Contract are eligible for. I believe as a part of "professional" conduct, the company should have followed its own rules.

5. (Talking for myself) I have still not been reimbursed for the expenses that I have made at the Expo Venue. A "professional" conduct would imply immediate sorting of due transactions.

Above all, I think I have been sincere enough realising the urgency of the situation during the Expo, and turned up even when i met an accident and broke my face. Also, I have been extremely committed in delivering important files at the exhibition venue even when i was medically unfit and told to have a complete bed rest.

Finally, i hope that the company will hand me over The TDS certificates of the past four months at its earliest, such that i may file my Tax return soon. I do hope to receive my due expenses made for the company and i believe, the company would be extremely professional in taking care of these two small issues.

I believe that the employer-employee relations should always end on an amicable note. I would further say that i have been honest and sincere towards my work at IA&B during the last four months, and i thank the company for accommodating me.

I thank you.

Anuj Daga.


No doubts that Sarita replied me horribly in a following mail, which I donot wish to share, as I do not want to expose the naivety of the ‘Head’ of IA&B in her own idea of professionalism, but I am happy that I expressed everything that I had in mind, before leaving the job.

The Ling

Sketch

Absurdities

Mornings for me are completely charged with emotional and inspirational thoughts. Every morning i construct a story in my head and decide that i will write it down. But the speed of thoughts is so fast than that we write, that i always end up losing many good ideas to write upon.

Some of these ideas are purely graphic...i wish i could draw and explain. So the million and one absurdities that my journey provides me with, every day, are lost. I will try and find a better ways to document them all one day...but i fear that most of the better ideas will have evaporated by then...

I want to express my ideas in motion...because lately i have realised that the dynamics of form is accentuated in motion. At the same time, some things can not be conveyed if motion is not used. Like:

Every morning as i come out of the churchgate station, there is the tempo standing outside the BIG BOX(the station) where fisher-women line up to take up the huge baskets filled with sea food on their heads to carry it to the suburbs of the city. The interesting part, apart from the grace of the act is, i feel, the gang of hovering crows, who, while flying, try and pick up fishes for their day's food from the big baskets on the women's head. I have a whole post to dedicate on this exciting event that happens every morning.

It's very embarrassing for me to take pictures of absurd moments in the city. while this becomes a very easy job for an outsider, i have not been able to capture the above in my past four months of journey to churchgate.

There is another one of this woman, with a cow tied to a tree under which she sits, and sells fodder to the passers-by to feed the same cow. The situation, i feel, is terrible, because the fodder is before the cow's eyes, she knows she has to eat it sometime, but it is only at expense of the on goer that she may be allowed to eat...

The city operates in a similar fashion. People find similar ways of managing their existence. Those are validated somehow. And those who choose other means; well i have another story on that!

The 5 years of Education

A boy works very hard for his own notes to gain better grades, ends up getting only 25 over 50 with a ‘good’ remark on the notebook while another student (who is the teacher's son) taking the same subject in the same class gets a 40 over 50 without attending the requisite amount of classes.

A girl out of frustration due to limited time to complete portfolio leaves the project on her group members and fleers away to home. The portfolio is completed by the peers till the next day submission date, till when, she doesn’t even bother to check the final work. The project gets the second best grades, and all members (including those who do not work) get the same score. After graduating, the girl asks for the same portfolio for securing a job over an interview.

A girl by virtue of being intelligent does not attend the essential number of classes as prescribed by the college. She misses the pre-final marking date and escapes with no work. She still manages to secure the best score in the internal markings. Others just borderline or pass, though being consistent with their work and attendance.

A boy copies all the notes for a paper submission from his friend, who honestly writes in the answers himself, and gets better grades than the original. The original paper bears the mark ‘Copied’ by the Professor.

A girl dresses up well on the day of the submission and gets good grades and comments inspite of no content or essence in work. Her work is shown as one of the better samples to others in the group.

A boy gets 10 other people to work on a submission, produces enormous drawings and gets promoted in flying colours. Others, working by themselves, are mocked at for not having enough drawings.

A girl is kept behind for a term only because the number of students promoted that year was too high. The same design with minor alterations produced in the next semester is promoted easily.

(others may add to this list)

Parting away with old memories

I wish i could keep them forever...
but had to give up my 'moh' towards them...

all went in the dustbin!

The Eternal Debate

I said, "I am not interested in doing commercial work."
He said, "Do you think any thing is non commercial in this world? So then what do you want to do?"
I replied, "I want to do ethical work."
"It's just a matter of perspective. You have to first earn enough to be listened. You can't live only with imaginations. You have to be practical"

I said nothing

And pondered over this eternal debate of the two words.

Commercial: kuh-mur-shuhl
–adjective
1. prepared, done, or acting with sole or chief emphasis on salability, profit, or success: a commercial product.
2. able to yield or make a profit
3. suitable or fit for a wide, popular market

Ethical: eth-i-kuhl
–adjective
1. pertaining to or dealing with morals or the principles of morality; pertaining to right and wrong in conduct.
2. being in accordance with the rules or standards for right conduct or practice, esp. the standards of a profession.


And I thought

Can there be a situation where one is paid for one's imaginations?

After all, it is something which can be ethically commercial or commercially ethical!

Symbols in Origami

It's a Language - It's Communciation...

saturday hangover

we were at dushyant's office on saturday and we totally relaxed that day. reaching in the afternoon, we started discussing music and dushyant kept on strumming the guitar explaining the fundaas of how it is played. and then we got into the discussion of each kind of instrument and then into instruments and then into musicians and then into classical and western music...

what i kept pondering was that what is it about indian classical music that i appreciate. while the western classical music seemed very scientific, the indian classical touched the heart. what i also wondered is that what is it in music that becomes the 'liking' factor. if it is subjective, then its not about making music scientific...

dushyant had a story to tell behind every piece he had collected, justifying why it was different. but what perplexed me is whether the story behind creation of the music should be so important that it affect ones liking...

so there began the journey of the inquiry about what is it in the indian classical music that i like...the music, the instrument, the technicality...what...
and i m still wondering...

but i think i just like music in general and i cant justify why i like certain kind of music. sometimes i try to, but i think that is not required. one just likes music...its natural...

we discussed dushyant's thesis, but soon sonal and ranjit arrived and the whole thing was diluted. we had a lot of fun later...our plans of seeing the movie were shattered because dushyant's comp could not detect sonal's hard drive...sonal actually had got a bag full of hard drives...as if she was carrying a computer...imagine the amount of data - i think she had some 4 hard drives with an average capacity of 150 GBs ... and i wondered about my 1 GB memory chip...

so it was a nice day,...we listened songs, passed time...and just relaxed...after a very long time...

Charles Correa Gold Medal

This is so refreshing. Winning after a lot of hard work is so encouraging. And especially winning a prize that one always wanted to. So it’s an achievement.
When we reached college yesterday at 12:30 pm, we were said that the Charles Correa Jury was already over. This brought in a lot of goosebumps because we were under the impression that the thing is going to go on till 4 pm. The jury called it off quite early.

I was also excited to see Dushyant’s thesis work. It was very nice of him to wait till the names of the winners were announced. Unfortunately his presentation was cancelled. But I called him up in the evening to thank him for encouragement and to meet him up for his presentation.
But before that, the announcement story…
We assembled in the hall. We took seat. And it was as quick as nothing. Kamu Iyer came on the stage. He said, I know you all are waiting for the name…and it is a project called “Cinema for the Blind”. Just for a fraction of a second I was lost in that dream which I always dreamt. But not wanting to miss the rest of his explanation, I came back in reality. While I held Dhaval’s hand quite tightly, the third name announced was his….this was the soney pe suhaaga…

I said to Dhaval, "wow…what a birthday gift dhaval" and he was happy too.

Later on , I was called on stage to shake hands with the master himself. I sneakily handed over the camera to Dhaval telling him to take pictures…and he obliged.

As I approached the stage, I could not believe myself shaking hands with Charles Correa. "Ah….!" my mind said. Now, Correa is a tall figure - you have to anyways look up to him. He had a gliding smile; soft, very soft gesture. Then I shook hands with others – Ravi Hazra, Narendra Dengle, Kamu Iyer and this is when, Sen Kapadia handed over the mike to me asking me to tell the story of the conception of the project…

I felt like I have to give a speech after winning an Oscar Award…and I stupidly said the following:

“Since morning I have being thinking of various things to speak, but now I am actually speechless. So please pardon me if I may go wrong."

"Are you excited?", Wandrekar sir (our trustee) asked.
"Yes! I am...very much" I replied
"That is very good."

I continued, "About two years ago, now three, I had gone to Nehru Science Centre where I saw these blind students walking around the exhibits. This was the point which put me into questioning that what are the blind students doing in a place where there is everything to see. So blind got stuck in my head. That is how the inquiry started…”

Sen Kapadia said, “But this is something that you have already mentioned in your dissertation…the real story must be something else…”




I said, “Actually in my last five years of architectural education, I have never made exciting forms, because I always used to question this form, what is form? And when I got this idea, I thought this was the best way to carry forward my questions”

Sen: But it must have been difficult…how did you convince your faculty?

Me: Yes, it was very difficult. I had to fight a lot, telling them that this is possible. i actually have a paper still, in which one of my jury members said, “Scrap this project”. But I knew that this was possible. so it was not easy. I had to argue a lot and my professors sitting here know that…

Sen then asked the jury panel if they had any questions. I don’t remember who, but someone asked : What is blind?

This is one question that I have never been able to articulate… I tried, “who is blind? I myself don’t know who is blind…I am still in the process of finding out who is blind…but blindness exists. There is this one quote in the last page of my dissertation, which reads that ‘we are blind people who can see, but do not see.’ so I think we all are blind, and we are in this cinema…!”
Sen asked me to take back my seat in the audience. And he continued, “I think the blind is a metaphor, and some time ago we were talking about what is the future of the architecture… I think Mr. Adarkar, you don’t need to do anything, your students are already on the right path.”

Adarkar sir requested Mr. Correa to say a few words…and this was something special…
Correa came and said, “I am not going to talk here about any specific thing, but all these projects raised some issue. In all the three projects there is some sensitivity, with respect to the city. The winning project is talking about his site as the old cinema hall, which is itself is a landmark, and how do you work around it. I think what he is talking about is the insensitivity…you see it was the television which came in to picture and then there were these lots of images. I think this non resolution of the blind must have helped him to take the project the way it is now. May be what he means by blindness is the insensitivity, about the people who can see, but do not look…”

Later, Dhaval and I presented our thesis, and I realized that my pendrive was not showing the presentation file. So I quickly took out my cd…(this is where I appreciated my own preparedness). Though the presentation was old and not updated, I somehow managed to complete it. It was a very ok kind of a presentation I gave. We then left…came out…met Correa. Correa invited me to his office sometime. Ravi Hazra invited me to his college. We met people…it was a nice feeling…very nice feeling…

Building Vocabulary

Academy - 1474, from Latin academia, from Gk. Akademeia "grove of Akademos," a legendary Athenian of the Trojan War tales (his name apparently means "of a silent district"), whose estate, six stadia from Athens, was the enclosure where Plato taught his school.

ad hoc - 1659, from L., lit. "for this (specific purpose)."

aesthetic - 1798, from Ger. ästhetisch or Fr. esthétique, both from Gk. aisthetikos "sensitive," from aisthanesthai "to perceive, to feel," from PIE *awis-dh-yo-, from base *au- "to perceive." Popularized in Eng. by translation of Immanuel Kant, and used originally in the classically correct sense "the science which treats of the conditions of sensuous perception."

Façade - a word which derives from the Latin faccia or face

Window - derives from the Anglo-Saxon and in it survives the idea of the wind-eye, an opening in a primitive house that provides ventilation and light.

Questioning Mind

There are so many things to record…but whenever I sit to write, it feels like a burden to type a long blog.
Well, let me try…
The 361 degrees design conference was great…it was a good intense design session after all. And I got an opportunity to work with rahul gore again. Also, it was a great experience to interact with great world famous architects first hand – including Maki. It was at the conference that I realized the influence of being in the media. People actually love to be in touch with media. That is when they want to maintain a contact with you. I experienced this at the conference.

But it was also nice to see, meet new people and interact. What I constantly wondered is that which side is better – the organizer’s or the speaker’s? Who is more valuable – the sponsor or the guest? Needless to say that one would want to be on the better side – the more valuable one.

At the Maki Exbt setup, I confronted the Japanese meticulousness for the first time…how extremely prepared they were. The level of organization was supreme. And that is when I realized where the organization in Rahul’s office comes from. Rahul and Sonal both encouraged me at the exhibition and it was nice to have Armeet as a constant friend and supporter. It was nice to be in opolis company again.

The event ended with a party at the Royal Palms – and we danced with some of the biggest architects in the world. It was so exciting to see all people – old and new to enthusiastically dance on the floor. Wow!

The next day wasn’t a holiday..we were called at the office late..and left early – and the most important thing that we did at that day was cutting the cake for a successful event.

Conference may be over, but for me, the real event starts now…I have to quickly decide what I want to do- should I stay back in this office or should I join back an architect or start teaching or enroll for a fellowship – I am so confused. And the worst part is people can sense this confusion on my face…some say it is better to be confused, some say be easy…

I an feeling unstable…why..why……………………….why!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Is it bad to ask questions? Small questions…? That’s what people tell me these days…and convince me not to question. How do I stop that (well that’s again a question!)

So I don’t ask questions to others – I ask them to myself – and keep searching for answers – lost in my own thoughts…

and i thought i was the most troubled!

yesterday, i had gone to my uncle's place and met all my family. The occasion was actually the 13th day of after my grand aunt's expiry. However, i got into a discussion with my younger sister...a year younger to me...she was feeling low...

She sincerely told me..."our office is shifting to Mumbai Central from Goregaon...and now tomorrow onwards, i will have to travel all the way from Borivli to Mumbai central..i am fed up...

Fifteen people have already been removed from office on the premise of cost cutting. I was saved because uncle had got me into this job. Now all the load is going to come on me..of all those who have left. I have my exams coming up in two months. My senior is not nice to me...he plays politics. The colleague who used to handle me well left office. I want to leave. I am not able to grow..."

This all came out very subtly...and as I tried to console her saying that all is fine..and it's natural to think like that...and she almost started crying...

oh my little sister...i felt very sorry...but that was just half the story...she continued:

"The problem is not that i am fed up. I can leave this job. but I can not stay at home." I thought that this was a response of just getting used to work. But she said, "i cant stay at home because i cant handle mummy..." (her mother is psychologically unstable) "She keeps on putting all her frustration on us (father, herself and her sibling). i don't know how papa handles her...I tend to get wild sometimes. I am short tempered. I understand she is like that, but how much can i take. There is no mental peace. She asks me too many questions - about herself, and about me...even if I get a call, she asks me too many questions. I have stopped taking calls at home now. I have come up, but what will happen to my younger sister...what values will she take...there is no positive atmosphere at home. I am worried. I am tensed."

There are so many loops above which i haven't mentioned. but I could do nothing but empathise and console her.

Everyone's story is the same:

"It happens only with me"

and I thought it was only me!

mental peace...
space...
mess...

and to end:

itni shakti humey dena daata
man kaa vishwaas kamzor ho naa
ham chale nek rastey pe humse
bhool kar bhi koi bhool ho naa.

Mess

i wonder what happens to those who choose not to be a part of this worldly 'mess'. while my reading of 'maximum city' introduces me to more and more mess all around, it is difficult to understand if there is no option other than getting sucked into it. what does one become if not mess. and even if you are not a part of the mess, you will be always identified as its part - because for people on the other side, its always the other side which is the mess.

i am worried -

i am worried if i too will end up messing myself! that will be terrible.

it makes me feel happier to have done a project which pokes the mess. now, i all the more believe in the theory of mess - the world is a cinema for the blind. it is a temple for an atheist.

can one only live for oneself then? the purpose being that of the sea gull - survival. as prarthana and me were discussing the other day, all discussions can be rooted in two basic purposes in life - pleasure and fear. and when there are people who have broken these ideas in their lives; they exist like polarised elements - the inexperienced as nascent and unstable, and the experienced as settled stable particles. they do not contribute, they donot adapt - they just are - just!

Five Gardens

Now this is nostalgic...
the huge plan of Five Gardens, prepared by 12 of us in 3rd year...some drew, some coloured, some rendered, some stuck pics , some analysed, some wrote....to put it together! wow...that is called team work!

The Fountainhead

Is life anything different from the landscape Ayn Rand has described in Fountainhead.
Today i experienced a Gail Wynand and a Toohey talking about Peter Keatings and Howards. it was hard to absorb, but i guess the best way to adjust is to JUST know them and not interfere!

Murphy's Law

If anything can go wrong,it will.

speech and text

I do not remember reading any of IAB’s articles indulgently. Today when I sat to read one of the articles, I realized what was wrong!

I feel written language too must have a tonal quality. The glibness with which you register a sentence was not present in the passage I read from the magazine. I found the same problem with the concept notes of the magazine, most probably prepared by the same person. The combination of words, which we use have to be easy for the tongue to twist. On the other hand, there are some phrases, which we are comfortable with. Many a times, we try and innovate, but I think then it becomes important to preserve the tonal aspect of the more used to phrase.

To cite some examples:

Phrases From, IAB Dec 2008 pg 45

Architectural road – architectural path
Time being opportune for practices – time being appropriate for practices
Versatile matrix – unnecessary use of adjective.
More mature future – note the “re-re-re’ in the end of all three words!

See what it does to your tongue. It will be difficult for the brain to register them.

I wonder if that is the way language has to be purposely made complicated. One can complicate ideas, by using simple words – like these theorists do…

To give examples:

Space of representation – representational space
Form of knowledge – knowledge of form
Realizing philosophy – philosophizing reality
Imagined space – spatial imagination

These are some beautiful things, which tingle your mind – without twisting the tongue – or rather they twist your brain!

At the Workshop...PPA Sets

The Maleshan Man



The Maleshan Man at Work


The Plans


The tools



The Power

The week that was

The past week has been the busiest week post my thesis. And I am amazed by the amount of things I have been handling. Right from the sets of Anjor Kaaya to co ordinating on the site (Powai) for Opolis, to designing the tickets and posters, to doing some back stage work to co ordinating with my cousin for redoing his house, I had my fingers in everything. But things have been going fine. While there has been no time to rest, I feel a tremendous need to lie down and think for a while whether it is really necessary to exert so much.

But then I like to be on my toes. That is why I sat down at 10 in the night to formulate a brief for my class today. And though I did not come up with anything great, I felt a deep sense of satisfaction for the simple fact that I completed my task. I also went to Falkland road on Sunday, the experience of which I would like to brief out.

As we know of it, Falkland road is one of those lanes of Kamathipura in Mumbai. I personally was not very much interested in studying or even looking up at that area. Most of the times, I feel it has become a ‘hot spot’ to study. Some people like to discuss things which are difficult / embarrassing to discuss. That is their usp. I was amongst those who resisted either selecting or considering that area for study. I did not want to go to Falkland Road. I went for the simple reason to test the level of my embarrassment. More than that, it was fear of being visually raped.

One can not look into the eyes of a prostitute. They simply make you naked. As if you were made to stand without even a single piece of cloth on your body in front of them. On the other hand, architecturally, the place was deserted. We entered from Alfred Talkies side and slowly the buildings started becoming more and more perverse. The beginning was tolerable, when towards the middle we saw the silver decorated victorias. One could metaphorize it as the pleasure ride into the lane of Kamathipura. And soon, the pleasure queens display themselves as products. That is when I got more involved with neha in her talks. This was done to avoid looking at the girls. However, I managed some courage to look at some of them. They were sharp, looked straight into the eye, did not blink, and had perfect postures. If I was not embarrassed, I would have sat there and made a few portraits. However, the defied the laws of ‘conventional beauty’.

Questions which rolled into my head were debates of lust and love; whether one goes for quenching sexual urge, or spend time with another body…and what defines beauty, can lust exist without an idea of beauty (subjective)?

Of course, the area could be documented beautifully by pictures. There was too much of essence in the space itself. But its just the fear that did not allow us to wait and watch. We tried to wait at a sex clinic and talk for some time while dhaval did his part of survey. But I felt I was in the lane just to experience the oddity for that one single time. I do not intend to go there again for any reason. Neha had some beautiful inferences of the place. It was nice to talk to her.

On the other hand, Anjor Kaaya was a little boring. Apart from the length of the play, it needed a strong character sketch of each of the characters of the play. the music was indeed beautiful, but there was far too many unrequired characters. In short, the play was not crisp!

Well, there are far too many things to write, but where is the time? As I write this, my eyelids are heavy with sleep…so I take a break now…

Asian Age covers Prarambh Performing Arts

Article in Asian Age - 5th Jan 2009

What to do now?

Experiments are difficult to sustain….specially when one of the apparatus is life. How do you really play with life?

I have left my job already. I wanted to explore my life. But I don’t know how. I have many people to meet…those which include film makers, installation artists, visual artists, architects of course…but there is always a kind of hesitation in the head. I don’t know why! Other things are to elaborate the plenty of ideas in the head and convert them into tangible formats- paintings, writings, poetries, postcards, photos, manuals, posters – all are in the head. But it’s difficult to do all of that without a sense of security – financial security – which I have killed by my own.

I am a victim of commitment. I find it immensely difficult to give a word to someone and then turn my back at it. However, in the last few years, I have gathered courage to say NO – and I have realized how difficult is it to say no!

My current state of mind is insecure – because this is the time of recession, and I am amongst one of those fools who have resigned – where people are not leaving / are thrown ou of their offices… but I hope there is something good in store for me.

I have still not capitalized in the professional world on the fact that I am a National Winner! And I don’t even feel like…though it has made me a lot more confident as a person. As you must have read somewhere in some earlier post on the blog, I still maintain – ‘Confidence comes only from appreciation by people whom you respect’. And that, i feel, has happened with me.

Questions which kill me everyday are – what do I want to do in my life? And some very personal questions which I will share today are – why are we are part of a locus (the locus of obligations in social life, where the variables are people whom we are connected with, who shape us up!). Is it possible to be out of the locus? Or can we reduce ourselves to a point – a singular point – dimensionless, free to move in any direction, which is individual, which still can form a part of any locus, multifaceted, still single – one? Actally there has to be a separate post to detail this thought. So I will leave it now.

I have for the time being applied to Indian Architect & Builder, as a writer. Waiting for reply. After getting a rejection for the UDRI fellowship, currently, spirits are low. But if this is the kind of time when one reads his/her horoscope, then there are good signals. I want to travel for now, want to be with my self for some time. Think. Sit. Alone.

Many moments gained in the last year, Many lost……which ones? They are hidden in the moments gained itself!

Still, the experiment is not over. And especially, if one does not have the “Aim:” to begin with, what is the sense in the “Procedure:” or should I put it as a rhetoric – is it possible to carry out a procedure without an aim? Well…time will tell. Meanwhile, the procedure can be collected in the memory bag!

PPA in newspapers

The song she is referring to is sung by me...